I need a friend to talk to about this

So currently I'm in a weird situation where I fell in love with a girl across the country. She lives in Brazil and I live in the USA

I met her online by twitter 2 years ago. We had an instant connection

We were of course flirting and chatting. Then we developed feelings for each other like month 3-5 of talking.

She decided that it was best if she test her feelings if we stop talking for 2 weeks so she can see if her feelings were real. During those 2 weeks, I went to alcohol, I was heavy drinking. It felt like my heart was missing.

Then she came back after those 2 weeks and said let's be friends. I couldn't just see her as my friends so I completely left like a 2-3 months after that.

We were not talking for 4-5 months... then February 2025, I miss her so much so I messaged her that I miss her..

Then that was when everything changed. My heart felt full again and she was very open this time. She finally talked to me issues and things that were happening and this was something new.

We were officially connecting again. She opened up and said that she wasn't seeing or dating anyone for the time that we stopped talking.

That made me feel like she was waiting for me. I fell in love and she fell in love.

So march I asked her out to be mine. And she accepts and then it was beautiful for those few months. Then after her birthday which is may… I noticed a change.. later in june, she was cold and distant. So I understand that she was busy and soon enough she decided to break up in June. I was broken and confused so I said that we should be friends.

We continue okay as friends for the time being but 2 days ago she told me she had kissed and did something with a friend. That completely broke me

I know we are friends but I am so pogessive of her that it made me yell at her during text and all that bc she did that with someone.

The same day she did those things, I drank drank and drank

Right now I feel so lost...