I really need support. I don’t think I will ever get closure and it bothers me

So last weekend, I finally told my friend that I had feelings for him and that if he didn’t feel the same or needed space that I would respect that and that I wasn’t going to reach out anymore. I told him he’s a great person and I really enjoyed having him in my life. He did “heart react” to that but didn’t say anything else.

We have been really close for two years now and I know he had feelings for me too. My life situation is complicated at the moment where I couldn’t really date him but I told him that he could always ask me about it if he wanted to because I trust him. He never did.

In the beginning, he would say I could come visit him where he lives and that we should hang out. But sometimes after he would say that, he would go ghost for as long as a couple days. It was kind of odd. Then we finally hung out and it went really well, and he even said he wanted to see me again two days later before he left that day. We made plans, but when the day came, he basically just acted like we never made plans and was just gonna text me like normal and just talk about whatever. I told him that really hurt my feelings and he said he just got really overwhelmed with everything he still needed to do before he left and when he does, sometimes he just does nothing.

Well, we went on just talking every day like normal and we would have deep conversations so it wasn’t always just small talk. But I did notice that he stopped telling me when he would come down here like he used to. It was like he was avoiding seeing me in person. But I finally did get to see him the day after my birthday. He took me to eat. He had invited to see me on his birthday but I didn’t really feel right intruding on his family plans when he only had one more day left here before leaving again. Things seemed normal for a while after he saw me then.

But then I just slowly noticed that he was getting more and more distant. He would go days without talking to me which was not normal. Then here recently, I really didn’t feel like he had been trying to continue our conversations. He even had the chance to see me again and he had brought it up himself, but then did not come and made other plans. All of this was slowly eating at me and making me anxious and that is when I decided to tell him how I felt. I didn’t think there was much to lose at that point.

After I told him, I noticed that he was still watching my stories if I posted any. But yesterday, I saw a post of someone that me and him have talked about for over a year now. I saw they were finally uploading some content that he had been wanting to watch and they were gonna do a giveaway as well. So I shared it to him. Now, I see that he has not watched my last story I posted or opened the message. It is hurting my feelings really bad that he may just be cutting me off after all this time with nothing to say to me. I helped him through some hard times he had and vise versa. It just seems so crazy.

I also want to add one last thing because I found it odd and thought it was maybe directed at me and not sure if it is positive or negative. He posted a story and he took a picture of a shelf and it had his shaving gel and some animal skin and coat pills and a bottle of empty capsules I had given him. They are for essential oils and I had given him some we had talked about before because I thought he wanted them and wanted to be nice and helpful. He put “lowkey seasonings” as the caption. I know I shouldn’t read into what he posts, but I couldn’t help but wonder if he was trying to bother me or something with that. It doesn’t even make sense to me honestly. It was an odd post.

Anyway, if anyone has some words of encouragement for me or wants to talk, please message me. And please pray for me. I think I am going to stay off of my social media for a long time now to avoid getting hurt even worse. Thank you.