Just sad...

Tonight is the first night that I don't know where my partner is. Maybe my former partner now, we had a fight and mentioned breaking up. Now I'm alone in our apartment in deep grief and emotionally rattled. I don't really know what to do with myself. At first I was angry but now I'm just deeply sad. I can't imagine what life will be like after this, I feel like I'm too old to start over and too anxious to find connection again. It hurts so much that this didn't work out.