Life after a Narcissist
I spent almost 20 years with the narcissist about 18 months ago. I was diagnosed with cancer and while going through radiation chemotherapy is true colors came out. He would take me to the doctors appointment to make himself look good, but while I was going through chemo treatments, he would leave and disappear for 5 to 6 hours at a time we’re either a nurse or social worker had to stay with me When I came home after getting chemo treatment he would leave for days on end and not speak to me I saw my son only four times for his whole entire summer vacation because his dad just kept dropping them off elsewhere so I couldn’t see him and I understand that my son is probably under some stress with his mom having Cancer, but to rip them away from me like he did was just a punishment and that’s exactly what he did here we are year later and I am in remission. I’ve got a new job a new vehicle. I’ve been working really hard to build a life for me and my son and now his dad told me he doesn’t wanna see me anymore and I just think of his mental health and just leave him alone because I am causing him damage Now my son is 15 and I know he last thing he wants to do is spend time with his mom, but I am totally devastated by this. My heart hurts so bad and I can’t stop crying because I thought so hard to survive to be his mom and rebuild this life and I’ve worked so hard to get where I’ve been in the last year and now his dad is withholding him from me And it’s either he’s telling My son, he can’t come to visit or he’s blackmailing him by telling him he can’t go visit his friends or something of that sort so tonight I’m having a really hard time. I can’t sleep. I can’t stop crying. I just don’t know where to go from here.
@warmheartedPear5519
You have been through so much and you have overcome it all. You are strong, determined and a great mother. He took enough away from you, don't let him take anything else. Your feelings are important despite what he thinks. Your mind and body have been through so much, with your treatment and all, take time now for you, you matter and you deserve it 💜🥰
Thank you so much. I have been trying to spend time catching up on things that I missed for the last 19 years. The problem is that I was so sheltered that I have no hobbies (my family was my hobby) I have no friends because I wasn’t allowed to. So my son was my life.
@warmheartedPear5519
I’m really sorry that your ex is being so cruel. For you to have gone through cancer treatment and build a life for your son and yourself, it’s amazing … you don’t deserve the insanity.
Is your son acting out when he his with you: being defiant and disrespectful, out of the house with little or no idea where he is?
No, my son is 15 and he has not been defiant or acting out at all. It’s just when I left my house to go back to my mother‘s while I was recovering from chemo. My son chose to stay with his dad and since he chose to do that he now isn’t visiting me anymore and his father says it’s because I am affecting his mental health. not sure how I’m affecting Samuel‘s mental health when I barely seen him in a year, but that’s what my ex is stating I need to do what’s best for my son the mental health and that is to not see him
@warmheartedPear5519
I’m so sorry for my delay (dealing with some medical stuff in the past few days).
Do you have custody for your son? When were the last 2 times that you communicated with your son (and how did they go)?
