Living with limerance

I met my dream man but I am already married. He swooped in and fixed the foundation on our house. I met him for the estimate my husband was out of town, we had a great conversation about my problem and I felt like he actually gave me good news. When he left I tipped my head because of the intense energy I felt from him. I passed it off and assumed I would never see him again so it didn't matter. I figured maybe it was a sexual energy that will fade with his disappearance. Well a month later my husband was frustrated that no one returned his calls and the only estimate we had was from this guy and it was a great price. When the job arrived another 2 months later there he was, I said immediately. "Well I never thought I would see you again." To which he started to say something but it went no where as in he had no reason to be there. And its a job 10 hrs from his home base, I said ah ok. My husband was out of town almost everytime i saw him too. He messaged me the first night after the job started, actually I emailed him and he texted me at exactly the same moment. It was a lame text about the foundation that could have waited. We chatted needlessly for about an hour and I made a joke about how to get dinner included with my job since we had Kraft dinner that night. It was a little flirt he said lol and stopped chatting. I noticed he would stop chatting with me whenever I made a flirty comment. BUT I am 100% sure he likes me. I caught him checking me out through my Livingroom window while I cleaned and he smiles ear to ear whenever he saw me, I literally married the last guy who smiled at me like that. He even took time out to check the status of my relationship, he was curious about my husband more then expected asked if he goes out of town much. I held my space even though he is extremely good looking. I just made a huge commitment to my husband. And this guy is also married. He tells me to reach out anytime a couple times. And I was falling for this hot guy who owns this company who is was really interested in me. So we were talking about more after the job finished and then I accidentally ran into him at the homedepot. He flashed a huge smile and then erased it and took serious. We chatted there and again in the parking lot. He didn't want me to go but I felt to get away. I was falling for him. I messaged him that I was attracted to him because I just didn't feel it was a good idea to talk to him and have those feelings. It would or could cause trouble for me and maybe for him. I confessed and he said. Im glad you were able to get that off your chest. I hate to be blunt but im gonna have to ask that we end this topic as its not something I can engage in.

Like what the F-ing crap is this. I never feel anything for anyone no matter how they look but all those signs and personal questioning and clear body language and you don't want to engage? I was prepared for either reaction. We talk about this or we don't and I thought I had nothing to lose by telling him but I lost what was a decent friend and my life twin. We had so much in common, I feel heart broken and stuck and also completely crazy. Like his reply is like as if he doesn't like me at all? What did I do wrong? Men confess feelings for me many times and its not a good reason to not speak to them ever again. Its a compliment and I feel I should have been given way more respect than that. Am I wrong? Maybe we are just really different inside? I have always had a strange effect on men but rarely do they effect me. Thats why this feels so much harder, but I was thinking of him so much that I told him I was attracted to him in hopes that it would help me recover or move on or talk about it. Anything was better then the way I was feeling before I told him but im hurting deep inside now. I miss his friendship and im worried I will need a foundation guy and he will never speak to me again. He goes from full professional to complete not professional with me and im so confused now. The mixed signals are everywhere, he even looked annoyed with me when I asked him to explain the piers to my husband and hung up on him before handing me back my phone. Pure jealousy, I dont understand why he rejected me though? I was prepared to talk as friends about his life or mine, whatever he preferred but instead he dumped me. I was in contact with him for 5 months over a job that actually took 5 days. You tell me. Am I delulu? Did I manifest my perfect man and then day dream he was hitting on me? Would love to hear an opinion from literally anyone. Thanks if you read all this way. It means alot to me that you enjoyed it to this point.