Love is a fascinating thing.

Love, is such a fascinating thing, but most importantly, they were all right when they said it was a strong force, because it really is, a really strong thing. And that's good in many ways.. it's what allows a relationship to go on through so much hardship, it's what makes things okay, what makes your partner stay even when horrible things are happening in your life, what makes them stay when the situation is terrible, because love.. does not let itself be situational. And that.. that is a beautiful thing.

But what happens when the situations that that loves sprouted from and flourished.. were temporary. That maybe it was only that situation, that time, in which that part of you was there to bring love and that of the same for your partner. What happens when things continue? Do you leave each other? Do things just adjust? I wish that to be true and maybe in some it is, but most of life isn't so kind. No. You stay, you keep going. Keep trying to love your partner and all that they are and they keep trying to love and it..

 Love becomes suffocating.

It is sad. Love has a fancy way of making itself a priority in your life. I would say for many of us, it is. But it's just that which is the problem. Love is not adverse to conflict, to burying, to molding, to denying, to.. suppressing. Infatuation isn't true love and true love isn't always long lasting love.. We want to be everything for our partner, to be perfect for our partners, and to make everything okay, to always make everything okay. That means shoving down anything that is wrong, any part of you which is not for the relationship, that isn't loved... But you cannot do this forever and be happy.. because that is not you. That is not the full story, that is not all of you. And what this does is, eventually it does come up, as issues, as conflict, as resentment. We are taught so commonly, some by others, but most importantly by ourselves that these things are bad. But it's ironically sad that all things in which are bad are not actually bad. They are sad. We don't want to face them, we want to satisfy them or fix them. We don't want to recognize them.. and because of this, all this sadness which is trying to tell you something, is trying to reveal something, is treated as if it is anything but the truth, because love overpowers all, because you must certainly know you love them, right?

But you don't.. you love the comfort of the familiar, you love not being alone, you love what once was, you love what has happened, you love what you once were together, but you don't love them. Yet you deny that truth, you are in denial.

I always hated the idea that people outgrow each other, the idea that people change and continue changing until the puzzle pieces that you are just don't click right anymore, don't fit anymore.. I don't see it this way. I don't believe it to be true. I view the self in relation to time as the whole picture. Yourself when you were younger and yourself when you are older, are both the same person. You did not change into someone new, I wouldn't even say you evolved. Because I believe the past and the future coexist. You now is not who you are. It is who you have been and who you will be and all that has happened in between which is who you are. And sometimes, we love someone, but we never loved all of them. We loved them today, but humans are very complex beings and that complexity expands across time, yet we are so often over confident in our belief that we will love our partners forever. But time is a canvas, our partner is the painting. We cannot love just one part of the painting showing now, for forever, because eventually that curtain will shift, eventually that curtain will fall greater, as time passes, and you will see the full painting. If you cannot appreciate it, let alone bare it. You must know that this is not torture directed at you for your sadness, it is the truth..

This is not to say love is not worth pursuing, not worth enjoying, it's not even to say it's not worth committing, but it is worth admitting that something isn't beautiful because it last.. and loving someone forever? That is a rare rare kind of love. It is possible.. but it often takes more searching and more heartbreak than one ever wishes to do. So what is the catharsis? What is final truth I have to give? Love truly is beautiful and it is dire that we, you, experience it, that you feel Eros's touch. But you should enjoy love for the times you experience it, the experiences you live in it, but do not cling to them.. as the past is the past. Love from one time cannot be reclaimed without the other. Understand that some things are not forever.