Married and Proposed
Hi, I am 35,M. I have something which I don't want to tell anyone. I am feeling something unusual. That's why I am here. I am a married person and I love my wife but some turns of events are making me nervous. In fact recently 2 girls have proposed me. I am very happy with my wife. We love each other. That's why I have refused these new proposals. But I feel sorry for these girls. They weren't like time pass relationship. They seem to be Sincere and they really wanted to marry and spend life with me. I never tried to attract them. That all started with some friends friends relationship but suddenly their proposal and everything changed. I never did anything which could develop feelings. I never hide my love for wife. Then why happened. Now I have an unexplainable stress on my nerves. This stress is weakening me inside. I can't hold it inside and even I can't express my stress to anyone. Not to wife, she might consider my fault. Not to my friends because of self respect of those girls. Some more questions: If these ladies were creating feelings, why I couldn't feel the feelings until they were spoken worldly? Why it happened twice? Why it happened to girls whom I considered my friends? This is something that makes me feel guilty why my friends developed feelings, may be I had some fault line which resulted this situation.
@meh6336 Hello. You love your wife, not looking for anyone else, and tried to make it clear. In my view everything is OK up to this point.
But if I were you... I would double-check my boundaries. Maybe these friendships went 'some way too deep', and that would give those ladies some unnecessary blink of hope? Maybe they didn't wanted to believe your "I love my wife" attitude?
On the other hand, it is important to notice how the things look from the ladies' point of view. If they 'propose' to a man who is happily married, it doesn't feel right at all, does it? It may look like kind of selfish, at it can be a sign they have no respect to existing relationships, probably including any possible future relationship with you.
Anyway, you have got a lot to loose, and possible gains might be just illusionary, even when not mentioning honesty and other moral circumstances.
Sorry for the typo (lose, not loose). By 'you've got a lot to lose' I meant your marriage must be several years. When someone's proposing to you, it can be driven by a short-term emotion. I guess many good marriages start like that. But also people like to change their minds nowadays, especially while they are still looking for their own path in life. Also, falling in love with a helper (if you're the one) is something different then being together for the good and the bad times.