Married, sad, alone, scared

I've been Married for 13yrs a couple yrs after being married he ended up doing something that had to involve legal action and we weren't allowed to love together i forgave him and decided to try tonsave our marriage fast forward a few yrs later and I ended up messed up due to not feeling wanted and appreciated, I came clean and told him he supposedly forgave me and said he will forgive and forget its been a couple yrs since that discussion and everything seemed to be going well however about 1yr ago I started to notice him always taking his phone every time he went to the bathroom taking longer than normal maybe 20 30mins then putting his phone on silent, then to do not disturb (something that he had never done in the past) the biggest red flag i felt was when we used to be very intement maybe 4 to5times a week but then it went from 3 to 4 days at a time when he didnt want to have intercourse because he said he was too tired. we both know the passwords to each others phone so one day I decided to go through it I did find picture of another female from work where we both had worked at I confronted him and he said it was because his friend wanted the picture of her of course I told him he was full of *** and told him that if he was not wanting to be with me to just let me know so I could leave and let him live his life and me mine cause I would never want to make someone stay with me that didn't want to be with me so to just come out and be honest. He said he didn't want to leave me that he loves me and he never wants me to go. I said I didn't want him wasting my time and if he wasn't happy with me anymore to just let me know because if that was the case I wouldn't hold anything against him but just wanted the truth. So after having a long conversation i eneded up deciding to believe his word and continue with our marriage. Well maybe around May or June some lady messaged me in *** saying to tell my husband (mentioned his name) to stop looking for married women at work or he would regret it if he didnt stop I didnt know whether to believe it or not because she wouldn't message me back after i asked her to tell me the name or names of the person she was referring too non the less I confronted him again and he pleading and crying at my feet saying he swore he wasn't doing anything wrong and to believe him I don't know honestly why im still with him. So about 3 months ago I told him ive been feeling really depressed lately and that I was not sure what to do anymore because I do not trust him and didnt think i loved anymore. I told him i wasn't happy with him and wanted a divorce he's cried and told me not to leave to give him another chance to make me happy but I just don't want to be with him anymore and each day that passes makes me feel worse and worse being with him. I don't even feel like being with him Intimately due to the fact that I remember how he didn't even want to be with me because he was "too tired" I feel like I have feelings as far as caring for him because hes the father to my kids but I don't think it's love anymore. 😔 I just don't know what to do anymore and it sucks that no one understands me and i dont want to live faking a life I don't want.