Mutual break up
Me and my boyfriend decided to end our 2 year relationship . I initiated it first and asked for his reasons and he said that he’s not so sure about this relationship anymore. And cannot make promises. So i decided that we end it. He also agreed to it but i know he needs me . We live in the same building and we go to classes together. Just the two of us because we are in the same group. So how can i move on? We are still talking like we used to except the gf- bf part is missing. I don’t know how to behave now with him.
@braveCircle6098
Let's check the basic facts here: The parents of your boyfriend said they don't like the idea of him being with you. So you decided for a breakup. And he agreed, confirming that your reasoning was true. And now you want to be friends with him?
Reportedly it happens to some divorced couples after a long marriage, but personally I don't know such a couple where it would not be associated with breaking someone's boundaries.
You said you knew he needed you... How did you know that? He told you? Or is it just a way to look for a door back to the relationship?
It is possible to stop a relationship before it actually becomes a relationship (like after one or first few dates), but I am afraid you cannot "unlearn" the relationship, the same as you cannot unlearn the alphabet.
It depends how deeply you were in that and how many years passed by. But being constantly alerted: to not kiss him, to not hold him, to not subconsciously forget you are not in a relationship anymore. That could be a nightmare.
If I were in such a situation, I would prefer to get it straight: either our breakup was a bad decision and we try again, or there is no coming back.
Unfortunately, once I were in a situation when someone was not so hurt after a "normal" brake up, but become really traumatized after some quickly bad ending of false hopes at the second attempt. So I would not recommend that kind of solution.
Yes he said that let’s hope for the best, and asked me to keep meeting me because we were best friends for 4 years before we started our relationship. I was so in love with him and he said that’s the reason he sort of distanced him self from me.
@braveCircle6098
At least we know, unfortunately, that is you who can end broken hearted...
I think he should stop giving you hope, unless his intentions for your being together are clear.
I made such a mistake long time ago. I agreed to go for a wedding party with a girl we broke apart with several months before. She hoped to restart our relationship, but from my side it was definite "no".
She was OK after the normal breakup. But after the failed second attempt she ended up with anxiety attacks at every remembrance of me. I was told about it many years later. And I still feel guilty about that, despite the fact it was over 30 years ago, and she's been long happily married with children (and living the life path and values I would not like to share, I must say).
I don't want you to be another girl to be hurt.
But I don’t know how to forget him even though it was i who ended it. He’s my first love and i never knew I could love him like that. Everything comes back in flashbacks
