My heart refuses to understand why he didn’t choose me
Hi everyone. I’m writing today because I feel completely emotionally exhausted. I’ve reached that painful point where my mind understands the reality, but my heart flatly refuses to accept it.
I fell in love like never before. I was willing to give everything, I would have "parted the sea in two" for this person. And even though he claims his feelings for me are strong, he has decided to walk away. He is choosing the "comfort" of his situation just to avoid risks or "complications."
The hardest part is that we share the same environment (we study/work together). I see him every day. He smiles at me, tells me I look beautiful, and we share moments where everything feels perfect for a second and that has become a drg to me. I am going through the most brutal withdrawal of my life.
I feel terrible because I still have this tiny flame of hope burning inside, waiting for a miracle that my brain knows will never happen. I feel like "the stupid one" left holding all this love in my hands while he just moves on with his life.
I feel a physical emptiness in my chest and I keep asking myself: Why do I have this capacity to love so much if I’m never the one who gets chosen? How do you kill hope when you still have to look that person in the eyes every single day?
I just needed to vent. I feel like I’m losing my mind thinking about this 24/7 and I don’t know how to get my peace back.
I have been waiting for a train for 11 years whenever it comes it just runs over me not even recognising me as a human being. I spent 11 years on someone who just liked the attention I gave her. She dated me cheated on me betrayed me I still hopeful she will recognise her fault someday but it's just me hoping for impossible to happen.
A reality check they will never realise. they are happy they are living there lives. We are the ones who are suffering.
You don't have to suffer for them just find your own happiness. Don't wait even if they come they will treat you like 🗑️
Reading your words, I can feel the 'brutal withdrawal' you mentioned. It is a specific kind of torture to have to see someone every day who smiles at you but refuses to choose you. You aren't 'the stupid one' for having hope—you are just someone with a massive capacity to love, and it’s exhausting when that love has nowhere to go.
When your mind and heart are at war like this, it can make you feel like you're losing your mind. I’m a listener here, and if you ever need to vent 24/7 just to get those thoughts out of your head, my door is open. If you feel up to it, reach out—I’m happy to just sit with you in the quiet until the noise in your head stops for a bit.
Hi! Yes can you text me please I really need to talk