My (m25) gf initiated a pause in relationship. After a fight and longdistance

TLDR: Sorry the story still got long haha. Me and my gf have a pause but she still said that she loved me and gave me some signs she still cares. My question is how can i start the talk on the 29th do i need to let her do the word because she initiated the pause? I'm just really confused about the mixed signals or are they not mixed and am i just thinking negative. It might be possible she says she wants to meet up again in the netherlands in june but thats far away. I just want some sort of contact back but dont want to push her.

This is going to be a long story but I'll try to keep it short. Me (25M) an my gf (F22) known eachother a long time but we are in a relationship for +- a year. She is currently studying in Sweden until June. and she told me the fight we had was the last drop to make the bucket flow over. She has allot of external stress like homesickeness, missing her friends, she experienced missing me for the first time and the fight made her shutdown and she needed a pause. We didn't break up and we promised we will be working on ourselves.

The backstory: Me and some collegues were out for drinks. I needed some quality time because I had allot of stress from work and I started to really miss my gf. Late at night I was done with it and went home. She was also still awake and called me. I said okay let me sitdown and we can talk a bit. But she demanded I walked home. I was already quitte drunk and i just flicked a switch lost al my rational thinking and started swearing and saying stupid things to her. When i got home we were still talking but i walked in my elevator and i lost contact. Upstairs i tried to call her but she tought i hung up and was so mad she didnt reply anymore. After that a couple of days of silence. When i reached out again she said i hurted her allot and i understand that i did that and i was truely sorry for that. 

We had a trip planned to visit her and i asked her if she still wanted me to come. She said yeah i leave that up to you and so i decided to go. When I saw her and she saw me we felt the same type of safeness and hugged for a while (later she admitted she wanted to kiss me that moment and i did too but we both held that back). After checking in my hotel we went to a restaurant and talked allot. I told her how sorry i was and that i planned to go in therapy (which starts this thursday). After the dinner she asked if we could have some cuddles in my hotel room. We did that but she was teasing me into kissing her i told het please stop I have a hard time not kissing you. She said its okay me too and then we kissed. After this and some more cuddling she went back to her place. the next day we had allot of talks and we both didnt know what would happen. Until she showed me her place. we talked again and i asked so what team are you on are we gonna make up or do you want to break up. She told me she thinks/thought i am/was the one for her. She struggled and said its my head fighting my heart. And my parents told me to break up with you. I asked what did she want. She didnt know meanwhile i was panicking a bit and my primary reacting to panick is fleeing. I tried but she stopped me. Then we talked and she said i dont want to lose you but i need to heal and work on my self. I hope you will work on yourself aswell because someimes i think youre quitte negative and sometimes you give me an opressive feeling over text i feel the need to react quick because you do that aswell. She first suggested 3 months i said no thats too long. We met in the middle on the 29th of april we will call (her birthday aswell). After that i suggesed to adjust my flight so she could come with me back to the netherlands and her family she wanted to see them badly. So we rebooked my flight and she booked a flight aswell to see her family. We had clear rules no flirting no sex and if we developed feeling or were unsure about to relationship to let eachother know (so far heard nothing)

After this decisicion she said could we stop supressing our feelings and needs for now? i said sure but what do you mean. She said i just want cuddles and kisses. I said okay thats good because me too. We went to a burger place she told me she loved and reminded her of a place near my house. We sat next to eachother (like we would always do) and after dinner we watched some series in my hotel room. There after some time she told me i love you. that scared me because i know there would be a pause. I told her sorry but im scared i love you allot but saying that now gives me mixed feelings. She said im sorry but i do really mean it. After some time she went home and the next day we went to the airport. We were cuddling and kissing allot in the train (normally we hate to do this in public) and when we arrived at the airport she told me okay listen we got this okay? focus on yourself and I love you so much and am so proud you are going to therapy. She used my line you got this. then i told her no I got this, You got this, We got this she smiled and said yeah we do. After the flight we went outside she was about to get picked up by her parents she turned to me gave ma a hug and kisses and whisperd im so proud of you i love you. I told her i love her and then she said you got this, i got this and stopped and I said we got this she said Yes we do i love you kissed me one more time and turned arround. She walked 2m turned around to look at me one more time and there she went. 

The first days were rough. she forgot her makeup and I left it in her postbox to respect to no contact pause. She messaged me that night saying thank you and i love you with a heart. After that silence again. 2 weeks ago i accidentilly send het a *** she opend it witin 30 seconds and replied with her gorgeous smile and mad a half heart with her hand. I said sorry didnt mean to that she said it's okay :)).