Need Advice

My boyfriend (29) and I have been together for 10years and he has always been addicted to things online looking at adult websites, provocative pictures and videos. Be use to even look up his female co-workers in the beginning of our relationship. However, always lies and gets angry when I find out. He tells me he will stop but, will he ever? I don’t think I can keep being with someone who lies about doing something then later on I find out…the trust is gone and I’ve explained to him so many times why I don’t like him doing these things online and what it does to me. I’ve even let some of my boundaries go because I understand his side even if I don’t agree…told him it had to be a boy and female in the video…but he looks up with only girls in them…Adult websites, looking up females, and these actions bring back trauma from my past and even lying about it/hiding it makes it so much worse. Giving me hope that things will change when in reality they have not…

I don’t think I am able to be strong enough if I find out he is still doing it…last time he did was December and he promised me he would stop once again. However…after 10years of me forgiving and explaining over and over again…I’m drained, I’m not myself, I’m on edge/paranoid and my trust is completely gone. Some days I feel like I just act like nothing is wrong because he wants that and wants me to move on…

There is so much more but I don’t want to explain everything.

Just how do you guys feel on your partner watching things on adult website or searching for women online and saying it’s online and bit real?

If they search up a co-worker and you ask why? All they say is they were curious?

Am I just holding onto someone who doesn’t really care for me?