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Need advice newly dating someone

User Profile: bittersweet123
bittersweet123 July 22nd, 2023

Hello! I hope there is anyone that can help and give me advice.


I am not sure if this is the right place to seek advice about this but here it goes.. a couple weeks ago, i met a guy on an app. I message him first and he replied then we exchanges some good conversations. A day after he started calling me and we talked on the phone for a couple hours. I asked him a couple question about whether he wants a relationship or something. Then he told me that he is already in a place where he wants something real and long term. Then I asked him if there’s any person that is currently involved with him at the moment and he told me honestly that there is this one girl that he sleeps with but they only see like once a month or so and he explained to me that he don't see it as that and it's like a booty call since there is no serious going on with him and it's giving him "satisfaction". I was silent the whole time and was like "i see" then told him it's getting late and i want to go to bed. He then invited me to dinner the next day after talking on the phone for hours. i agreed and we met. Our meeting was so natural and the conversation just flow naturally. On our way back home, it was dark so I kinda held his hand because i was kind of scared. Then we just talk the normal when we got home. we talked after that like the usual then After a few days, i was checking up with him and he told me his plan that a friend wants to go out of town with him. I asked who the friend is and he just mentioned the name and i asked "is he the girl you're sleeping with?" then he said yes. i felt sick to my stomach because the thoughts were racing and i could only imagine them doing it. I just replied with "okay" and he said he's just trying to be honest and it's not like he's with anyone. i agreed with him, we didn't talked about us and it's just 7 days or so that we know each other. i haven't responded in a while. after a couple hours, i told him everything i have to say. that i felt terrible after reading that and that i know we aren't exclusive or anything but I personally wouldn’t be sleeping around when i’m in the early stage of knowing someone i see a potential with. I wished him all the best and said goodbye and closure. I thought he wouldn’t reply but he replied the morning after and told me that he respects my decision but he was just being honest and upfront and that i was super cool and he liked how our conversation flows so effortlessly and that he isn’t messing around. He apologize for ruining my night. I told him he don’t have to apologize and that’s okay it’s just that i was so lost between keeping him and be okay we the thought that he spends time with another woman and letting him all go. Then I told him i’d understand if he blocks me or so but he replied that he won’t block me because he is not some kind of a-hole and i told him it won’t make him an a-hole. We then talked for a few minutes more as if nothing happened, the conversation was smooth and fun until he asked me if we’re cool. I told him idk, all i know is that i can’t be close to him because i don’t wanna get hurt. But deep inside me, i really wanna keep him because it’s been a while since I felt that kind of connection, it’s been a while i laughed naturally around someone, and it’s been a while since someone hold me when i was scared and felt genuinely safe. But, the idea of him sleeping with someone else or going out of time stings so bad.


now, i don’t know if I should continue talking to him or just delete him from everything. Currently, he was the last one to reply and i just reacted and put him on read. He didn’t send any message now so i’m thinking if that’s the end and I just have to move on. A couple week isn’t that long too and he can find anyone else literally besides he have someone he still sleeps with.


I’m really lost right now, if i will let him go, how should I do it? And if i keep him, how should I be okay with the fact that he still have the girl? I don’t really know.. I hope someone can really help me.


Thank you

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