Need honest opinion and help
I was writing it before but it didnt save and I lost it so I will write it shorter. Me and my girlfriend had a fight recently (through chat) , we are in a distant relationship. 2 weeks ago my girlfriend was on a party, I seen videos from the party and she was sitting there with her male friend which was drunk and she was resting her head next to her shoulder and had her hand in his hair. Then when the camera got closer she put his head up and got the hand off. The few minutes after she went for a water, gave it to him and run her fingers through his hair again. I got really jealous and asked her what was it supossed to mean and she said she was just helping him bc he was drunk and didnt want him to throw up on himself so she "held" his head and she didnt know why she was so touchy so she apologized and said she wont do it ever again. Later the day after the party the friend sent her a follow request on ***. I asked her if it has something to do with the party and how she acted. She said idk. I told her I dont want her to accept him. Every second day she was asking me if she can accept him and that she feels bad about him. And today we got in fignt becouse she asked if she can add him and I told her I dont want her to add him. And she called me ridiculous and jealous and that she doesnt want me to talk with her. So i asked her who is more important, if me or him. She said that Im insecure and jealous and to not talk to her. I told her if she will act like this then I wont want her to add him at all. She then said that I bring nothing but negative emotions, which made me really sad bc she always called me perfect and the best she could find. So I was asking her if she is serious about this bc she always told me Im the best and she just told me to not talk to her and she told me bye. She is really stubborn so everything has to be her way and she rarely agrees or says sorry. Becouse she wasnt nice to me and said mean things to me, I declined the guy from follow requests and after few minutes she noticed and said "You actually declined him? Wtf? . She logged me off her *** ( we have each others) and she told me to not try to log back. And I told her I declined bc she was mad at me and mean. She just said she doesnt care and to let her be and she called me toxic *** and jealous. I tried to talk calm becouse I always do but it didnt help. She then told me that she wont talk to me for long time and that she will be soooo happy. And she always calls me jealous when she acts like this to me. Idk if its all becouse she is stubborn and having anger issues but its really hard to show her wrong or talk to her. Sorry that I wrote it short but I already spent really long writing it and it deleted by itself so i just wrote it shorter. If you have questions, I can answer. I wont be able to talk with her for some time, but Im trying my best to make her talk with me.
@Adamekk Thank you for sharing all of that with me. It sounds like this situation with your girlfriend has been really overwhelming and stressful for you. I can hear that you care about the relationship and that you’re feeling hurt, frustrated, and maybe even confused about her actions and words. It makes sense that this is affecting you deeply.
I’m here to listen if you want to share more about how you’re feeling or what’s been going through your mind. You don’t have to figure everything out right now, just take your time to talk.
Thank you for your words. I tried to calm her down, I try to not yell at her or call her words, she always tells me to not call her by her name when she is mad at me. Recently she told me that I dont deserve to say her name. I tried to apologize to her and I hoped she will apologize for her toxicity also but she didnt at all, she only continue saying to not talk to her and the she wont text me at all. I didnt know that my decision will have that much impact on her acting. I would never think that she will get so toxic becouse I declined her male friend follow request on *** becouse of how touchy she been to him. She knows him since half of the october and is only friend with him and I feel like she overreacted too much over this. I know that I declined him without her knowing, and I realized it and apologized for that. But it wasnt enough and I have no idea what more will help. She only wants me to not talk to her. But I cant make it without her, I miss her every time, all time Im texting her. I love her so much that I cant just imagine being without her. Not talking with her. Not seeing her. I cant just stop communicating with her. It hurts me and I miss her so much. I always text her, telling her about my day and sending her pictures of me, telling her how I miss her and how I love her even through she mostly jusr view it after 5 hours and jusr says "why are you still texting me". I asked her if she loves me, she just said "stop talking to me". I asked her if we been next to each other right now, if she would let me kiss her, she said maybe, but she wouldnt kiss me back. I feel like she stops loving me. She always said how good I am, and that she wished I will never change. But now she says the opposite and says how bad I am. I cant imagine life without her. I dont want anyone else. I want only her. Im always telling her, and when we talk normally, she says it back and also hope we will never leave each other. She told me many times that she will never leave me. But now, I dont feel good about it. I cant say what I really want to say to her. Becouse if I will say what I really think about her acting. She will get mad even more. And I have nothing to choose, she just knows how to controll my feelings. So whenever I get mad at her. She makes us not talk and will be even more mad at me. When she is mad at me, eveb through I know its not fully my fault. She wont apologize for it and I always have to deal with it and just accept the fact that I cant do nothing but just agree with her and apologize. I love her so much and im scared she will leave me. So I rather not yell at her back even through she is wrong. Becouse she is able to not talk to me and says its better without me. She says that she wish I wasnt jealous but when I say that I wish she wasnt toxic at me, she says "so break up with me" I always respond to her that I will never leave her and never break up with her. I dont know what to do, I feel like I have no power. I can try how I want. But she is just always better and I dont know what to do so she stops, she makes me stop easily becouse she will say that we wont talk if I wont apologize or something, and she can easily make it without talking with me. But I just cant. I often say that I will do something to myself if she wont stop. But when I did that and I started doing things to myself becouse of her, she said that Im crazy and I should search for help and she worried about me. So I promised her I wont h*rt myself anymore. Even through I feel like I want to h*rt myself becouse I dont know what to do. I feel like I would just like to k*ll myself and watch her how she would react to it. If she would be happier or actually cried. But at the same time I just cant do it. I cant leave her. I just cant do it without her. She will never understand what I feel to her.
@Adamekk Im really sorry I hope everything turns out alright