Needing Emotional Closeness with my Fiancé. Depressed
Yall how do yall deal with needing emotional closeness with your fiancé? My fiancé is black by the way for information.
Our counselors want us to have a fast from sex until we get married and broke fast twice. The whole fast just been sending me through an emotional wreck but on a positive, I’ve been real close in my Bible and making more time to pray and read bible plans. How to cope with that?
Also my fiancé had made me upset in front of her performing cast when she said that i didn’t give her any flowers but i told her that they were at home and i didn’t want them to wilt. Kind of broke my heart a little bit and I’ve been in a depressive state because of the fast and just the way she be talking and handling things.
How do you cope with a sexual fast and dealing with trying to communicate with her without thinking she will find men to talk to and leave me because she talks about her “dead roster that can be revived” and talks about how she hates i love white women when i watch porn (which I’m trying to stop now on and off), and so much other ***.
@joshuamwoodard
Hello 🥰
Welcome to seven cups!
I understand physical intimacy is important in any relationship but if you are both trying this break, it's important to put the work in, it will be worth it in the end
You both need communication .
Speaking freely and honestly about what you need.
Trust
Respect
And you need to knock the porn on the head, porn isolates and distances people in a relationship, even though it's healthy, it still creates disconnection and creates unrealistic expectations and your partner is not your sole focus for desire .
Spend time dancing, going to dinner, having fun, creating shared connections and intimacy that will make you closer in the end.
Wishing you both the very best going forward!
💕💜
Hi there,
I am not religious - but what I would think about a fast from sex before marriage, it is to build up desire? To me it seems you are failing the purpose of that exercise by filling the void with porn. That urgently needs to be replaced by physical intimacy that is not sex. As the listener above wrote dancing, cuddling or even non-penetration sex practice if that is allowed.
To me it sounds like her needs of intimacy (that are not just sexual) aren’t fully met. She also is struggling to communicate directly and clearly. Maybe she is lacking trust. It wasn’t really about the flowers - she picked that fight to express some of her needs being unfulfilled. You need to have honest and open conversation about it.
Hope I could help 💛