Need some guidance

Guess I’m just looking for some guidance… I’ll try to keep it short. 

Been with my boyfriend for 3 years. Found out he was using hard drugs about 6 months into the relationship. He has a history of using and claimed it was just a slip up and he’d get back on track which he later admitted was never his plan. Things spiraled and he put me in some horrible situations. He got arrested (3x) and ended up back in prison. He claims he’s “in a better head space” now, clean and getting things turned around but I have no way of knowing that (we talk on the phone but I do not visit) and given his history I do not trust him to stay on track once he’s out. Unknown release date but may be as early as towards the end of this year and he has also applied to go to a halfway house which I do not feel he will take seriously and i dread him getting approved for it.

I am so over this relationship. I do not trust him at all. I actually have ptsd from some of the things he put me through. I have a child from a previous relationship, my own home and hold a professional license and he jeopardized all of that. I am not sure how to end things or if that’s even what I want to do but I am tired of how things have been and what they are now. I feel like I’m not even really living my life. And like maybe I’m missing out on something that could be really great for me. But on the other side of things I’m afraid of what he’ll do if I end it. He’ll do something stupid to himself, start using again, have his drug buddies on the outside start stalking me again (this has happened before). He is a good guy without the drug use but I feel like too much damage has been done and I don’t want to spend the rest of my life waiting for the other shoe to drop and him to get back into everything he was doing before. Like I said, just looking for some guidance or input from people who have maybe been here before. If you’ve made it this far, thank you lol