Need strong advice ❤️

I was in a relationship for about three years, and it was the longest relationship I’ve had. In the beginning, things were really good we spent every weekend together and he always made an effort. After the first year, that started to change. He got busier with work, but I still felt like he could’ve made more time for us. For the last year and a half, I kept asking him to put in more effort because it felt like I was the only one trying, and over time I started to feel really discouraged.

Early on in the relationship, I also found out that he had texted another girl behind my back. I forgave him for that and hoped he would want to make things stronger afterward, but it never really felt like that happened.

Fast forward three years in an old guy friend reached out to me. At first I felt guilty about replying, but I was feeling really lonely in the relationship. I did respond, but I told him right away that I was in a relationship. Even though I never crossed any lines, I know it was still wrong, and I take accountability for that. One night while I was asleep, my boyfriend went through my phone, saw the messages, and broke up with me. He blocked me everywhere after that.

I just wish he could understand where my mindset was I felt so lonely and like I was the only one fighting for us, while also wanting us to think about our future together. At the same time, I know what I did wasn’t right, and I can’t expect him to forgive me the way I forgave him in the past.

so I don’t know what to do if to keep trying to reach out to him or wait for him to reach out to me or just to let things be how they are