Not sure

Hello everyone..

I am very new here and kind of just looking for some sort of support or some sort of hope.

My boyfriend and I (our one year would have been 8/26/23) broke up a couple days ago. It was very mutual, I mean, I didn’t want it to happen, I tried everything to make it not happen but you can’t force anything on anyone. I have been a complete mess. He was quite literally me but in a male body. Everything from personality, humor, facial expressions, etc. We always said the same thing at the same time, always had the same thought, and I’m not even exaggerating.

I have made some mistakes, he’s made some mistakes, etc. Were people.

We’ve never gone out of each others loyalty boundary though.

I made some mistakes a few months ago just by my reactions due to previous really bad abusive relationships, so I still am unlearning the trauma responses.

My fault there. But I don’t know what to think of this scenario. He just recently decided he couldn’t let go of the past mistakes and held onto them and it made him break.

But he told me he’d be more than happy to be close with me. We still hug, kiss, live together and hangout. I love it, but theres no label anymore or an “I love you” when we leave the house.

We told ourselves we were going to seek some therapy and then see how we feel after a few sessions. And I’m praying that he comes back to me because I cannot see myself with anyone else, at all.

Is this a good sign that maybe he’ll reconsider me again after a bit of therapy? Or is it a good sign he wants to stay close? I just want to be able to handle this breakup a bit better. I struggle already with a lot of childhood trauma, which could have also affected my responses, and I wish he would give me this one last chance to show I can be better.