Not sure
I just had a break up yesterday. I think it’s mostly my fault for being too emotional. To give some context, the past weeks, he has been saying he’s busy and when we do get to call, he excuses himself to end it saying his phone is hot. However, it’s never hot when he is on a call with what he says, “on a call with cousins”. I voiced out my concerns to him multiple times however he only says, “it’s ridiculous” that I act this way.
I only acted this way because he cheated on me before. For the first long 8 months in the relationship, he has been chatting and communicating with his ex and even though he admitted to me about it and now it’s like 2 years later and I see changes, it’s coming back again.
😔 so I called it quits yesterday and he just told me “if you say so”.
@KeitoTsuki
I find it interesting that you’re putting yourself in the role of the villain and taking responsibility for something that clearly isn’t yours to carry. The real question here is: why do you keep making excuses for him, even knowing that he cheated on you and stayed in contact with his ex? It’s completely natural that you would feel insecure and anxious in a relationship like that.
If you look at it more clearly, you didn’t really lose anything. If anything, you gained freedom and more importantly, the opportunity to walk away and distance yourself from someone who didn’t truly value you.
Being emotional isn’t a bad thing. What’s wrong is believing that being loving and affectionate is somehow a flaw. Who made you think that? When you’re in a relationship, emotions are obviously important although that doesn’t mean you should lose your sense of reason. Still, try to see things from a different perspective.
Thank you for understanding where I’m coming from with being anxious. And you're right, I’m making excuses but I really love him which is why it’s very hard and I keep going back. I will try my very best this time. Last time I gave in after two weeks. Please help me if you have recommendations how I can get out of here
@KeitoTsuki
You love him, okay. But will the love you feel for him magically make him change? You need to understand that love has to be mutual. If the person you’re with doesn’t show the same level of interest and love that you have for him, over time it will wear you down.
What are you trying to fulfill within yourself through him? Ask yourself that question this will help you identify whether what you feel is truly love or some kind of emotional need.
Love can act like a drug that’s why you feel that urgent need to hear from him or reach out. But there’s something you need to consider: will doing that actually change your situation?
What I recommend is finding an activity you enjoy so you can keep your mind occupied. It can also help to write down or record what you’re feeling, either on paper or on your phone. That will help you release some of the emotional weight you’re carrying.
Every time you feel like going back to him, remember the reasons why you chose to end things, and ask yourself if it’s really worth returning to the same place, to someone who isn’t giving you the happiness you’re looking for.
There’s nothing wrong with loving someone, but you need to know how to choose who is truly worth that love especially your time, which you can never get back.
So, what do you choose?
Try to mirror him. Enjoy your life without him but staying with in same home. When he come backs get in call and be busy. Make him feel what you feel.
I tried that but it only hurt me instead
@keitoTsuki You are the only one trying here. Your efforts are not noticed. Its time you put the same efforts to rebuild yourself. What you do shows weakness and trust me he knows you will come back. It is very very hard I know. I'm dealing with it when I posting this to you. I don’t have a day n night feeling wishing to go back to her but she knows I'm her rebound. So I'm trying to move forward.
I hope to see you stronger than what you are.