Partner and Ex wife destroying our family. Needing support

My partner and I have been together for 6 years. His ex wife and he were separated living in two different homes when we first started dating. There are 3 kids between us. For the past 6 years she has continuously tried to control our home and destroy our relationship. My partner is high functioning but struggles with addiction to alcohol and marijuana. This in itself has not made the relationship easy. When we first started dating we were told they would not come over unless all kids were parented the way his ex saw fit. It caused a lot of arguments between he and I as I had an emotionally stable and well rounded child. His oldest had a lot of turmoil. Yes some was caused by their divorce, but most of her struggles were not due to a divorce but were due to sensory issues and extreme introversion and I really strong hate for people that did not do whatever she said. She had constant meltdowns if things didn’t go her way and mom and dad always caved in. It was unacceptable to both the parents that any emotion other than happiness be shown around or towards her. Any argument we would have my partner twisted them and would run and tell his ex. Of course I should have left then but I did not and now I don’t have the means or resources to be able to leave. 

6 years later my partner and I have been through couples therapy, individual therapy, and so has my daughter. My daughter is no longer the same child, even though she has plenty of friends, she has been moved around due to his ex’s borderline harassment constant texts, phone calls, going to the police station every week bashing us. 

My partner gave up custody of his kids due to her convincing him that a couple of incidents that happened when the children weren’t present would lead a judge to remove custody and that he would have to pay for both his attorney and hers. These involved his substance abuse. She told him it was only temporary and when he completed a rehab program it would go back to the original arrangement.He did, he wore a scram bracelet for a year for her and daily breathalyzers.  I told him to not sign the kids over, because she wouldn’t go back. he did it anyways and now he gets virtually no time with the kids and now her reasoning is due to her saying that I am harmful. 

Now we have moved several hours away due to her behavior to try and move forward. My ex has tried to regain partial custody but is dropping the case due to her lawyer subpoenaing all of my information and my child’s information from medical records, 911 calls etc….

I am a private person and suffer from a chronic medical condition. My child has had to deal with her father passing away, me being in and out of the hospital due to my medical condition that is not related to mental health and the fights over his ex and harassment from his ex. My child was invited to a sleepover at her house for their daughter’s birthday and this woman trashed my daughter to other kids while she was there. Now she is trying to just completely destroy my daughter, using her lack of self esteem and mental health issues that have been caused by her constantly inserting herself  into our relationship and the chaos that it causes. 

I have nobody to lean on other than my partner or people who say leave but then don’t understand my financial situation and can’t or won’t help. Just no support at all. Due to my medical issues and now my daughters health issues, I can’t even work a full-time job.

I have tried not bringing her up,not talking about her, setting boundaries with my ex and tried to continue to live my life and move on, but each time that happens she finds a new way to insert herself as she is extremely obsessed with trying to destroy us. 

I just want to find a supportive community to lean on and if anyone has some advice that isn’t leave, because I am not in a position to and shouldn’t have to, I will gladly hear it.