Past relationship issues from marriage ruined seeing someone new

Hey everyone,

I'm 2 years out if a marriage where my wife was a narcissist who has destroyed my emotional state to the point that while seeing a new woman my bad wiring has caused me to be an emotional wreck and out my foot in my mouth several times. We had 4 really great dates and she went away for 6 weeks to spend time with her family and friends and it started out ok we were still taking and planning to do things whe she got back and the. As the silences got more my anxiety took over and I sent some stupid desperate sounding messages. I explained where a lot of this was coming from and she told me it was OK. She's now been back for a couple of days. I sent her a low pressure message abiht 6 days ago about meeting up in a couple of weeks to let her settle back into work and I think I've been ghosted she hasn't opened the message and I'm really struggling with this becuase I know that the anxious me isn't the real me and I really don't want that to ruin what was going quite well.