Possible divorce

Hello. I've been having trouble sleeping for about two and a half months now. I can't stop overthinking everything. I'm having marital problems. I think we will end up getting a divorce in the end. Let's just say I've been putting up with everything during the 30 years we've been together, and I have finally reached my breaking point. I told him that since he isn't changing, I will have to be the one to do it. I don't want to be with him anymore because, during all this time, his jealousy has stripped me of my freedom. There is no trust on his part, and none on mine either. I am completely exhausted. He is very scared and has promised to change once again; on top of that, he has other flaws that have damaged our relationship even further. I am aware that he has made a huge effort to change over the last few months, but this is nothing compared to the time we've been together. Besides, I think he's only doing it because of the current situation, and I'm sure that if I tell him I'll stay, he will go back to the way he was. It wouldn't be the first time.

We have 3 children and a mortgage. It's difficult for us to separate. In fact, neither of us wants to be away from them for even a single day if we end up divorcing and get joint custody. On top of that, I have another matter consuming most of my thoughts throughout the day that influences all of this, which I prefer not to speak about out of shame... I'm not ready.

I would like someone to give me some words of support, to tell me anything. I haven't been able to share what I'm going through with anyone. Only with my sister, and just a few things.

Thank you for listening to me."