Relationship , break up

I’m 21 years old, and I recently went through a breakup that has been really hard for me. My ex-boyfriend and I were together for three years, and it was our first relationship for both of us. Before we even started dating, he waited for me for a whole year until I was ready to give him an answer. After that year, I told him that I loved him too, and we began our relationship.

During those three years, we had a lot of good moments, but we also argued quite often. Over time, those arguments seemed to affect us more and more. About a month ago, we broke up. He told me that his feelings had faded and that we wanted different things in the future. That was very painful for me, because I still love him and miss him a lot.

We have a shared group of friends, so we still see each other sometimes. We don’t have a bad relationship, and we can talk normally when we meet. Recently, I went to his place to pick up my laptop, and we had a short, calm conversation. But then I went back again and tried to open the possibility of talking more, and he told me honestly that he hasn’t really had the desire to talk.

Yesterday, we were at a mutual friend’s birthday party together. We drank a bit, talked, and I asked him some questions. During that conversation, he told me clearly that he doesn’t love me anymore. Hearing that hurt me deeply, especially because of everything we had been through together.

What confuses me the most is how this could happen. I keep thinking: how can feelings disappear after three years? Was his love real? How could he wait for me for a whole year before we even started dating, and then lose his feelings later? I know he didn’t cheat on me, so I keep wondering what the reason could be.

Right now, I feel very heartbroken, confused, and emotionally exhausted. It’s hard for me to accept that something so important in my life is over, while I still have strong feelings.

I would really appreciate any advice on how to cope with this situation, how to move on in a healthy way, and how to get through this period without hurting myself even more.