Relationships - I am always feeling stress.

I am not sure if this is the group to post this in.

I always dealt with feeling stressed/ anxious all my life almost all the time. I never felt like I was worthy to be in a relationship that would be more than friends. I basically never dated ever in my life because of shyness and anxieties. I wasn’t in the right state of mind in year 2019 because of my health was very poor from my illness, which is Endometriosis and I ended up getting close to this man who has made it perfectly clear he doesn’t want to date me. I felt love for him at first sight. It makes me sad that he doesn’t want to feel the same way for me (I am just a girl to him that he would want to makeout with if he could), but it also makes me feel a little glad he doesn’t because how horrible I feel about myself.