Relationships in the Family Stress

Trapped in unhealthy patterns and it is nobodies fault. My sister is autistic with histories pf a pyschotic break and memories being twisted. She also is a gaslighting narcisist who thinks our mom is gaslighting. She tries to fix everything, including parenting me and trying to fight my nonexistent battles. However, it is not her fault that she remembers things differently than the rest of us. However, she is very difficult to live with. Together me, our parents, my sister and her husband, sometimes with his 2 kids are crammed into a single story house. I try to fly low radar and keep to myself because I have PTSD from her psychotic break and the drama is there almost on a daily basis. The whole house has become don’t upset my sister. Don’t make noise. Don’t talk. Don’t ask. Don’t laugh. Its walking on eggshells. This morning I got triggered right away. I woke up to a literal head ache and a dog jumping on my bed. I lay there for a few moments allowing myself to actually come online. Then I finally walk out of my room to take care of today’s morning responsibility, which is to clean up after the dog and feed it. It is not my sole responsability because it is my mom’s dog, but I don’t pay rent as I’m finishing college and already job hunting. So this is the least I can do. I hear my sister and dad debating in the kitchen, not really discussing how mom “dropped” the dog on me which wasn’t the case at all. Mom retired and got a dog before my sister and her husband along with his 2 kids moved in. They just started their business. They don’t pay rent. They don’t pay for groceries. They don’t pay for bathroom supplies. So mom had to go back to work and I offered to help out while she was at work. That’s all. Today, I got up late. I had a ache. I didn’t fly out of my bedroom to clean up outsides poop or prep the food. Dad was annoyed with me, but he didn’t clean it up knowing it was there. That’s fine. He cooks amazing meals, supports my passions, tries to teach me about money and helps me look at apartments for when I do eventually move out. He is allowed to be annoyed with me, I didn’t get up immediately to help out. I was tired, warm beneath blankets with a headache that he doesn’t know about. However, my sister fighting a nonexistent battle with him this morning in the kitchen. I’m 100% not okay with because she uses mom as a scape goat and not take responsability for anything else in her life. It is fine that you want to start your own business and be your own boss there is nothing wrong with that but that requires the long game. I am earning my masters degree for my own long game, if I want to keep publishing books and eventually start my own workflow consultant agency, I will need the resources and network to do that. I will need a steady source of income, presence, and experience to back myself up on. I’m a master at the long game. My parents know this about me. They also know that I can’t stay if my sister stays.

I shut down when she tries to gaslight me about our parents. I flee/hide to/in my room because my room is my sacred space and I can detach myself from the drama. I can remove myself and be myself away from family even in this small little box. However here is the thing, my parents do the same in their room and so does my sister. We don’t coexist with each other. There are dominant personalities clashing for control of the house and its supposed to be my parents house. I was the last one supposed to leave once I got things lined up the right way. Yet here I am - Trapped in my room scared to leave my room as I finish up the last couple of weeks of graduate school.

What is a girl to do?