Situationship stresses

Backstory: met on *** dating 2 weeks after moving to California. (8/28/2024-2/11/2025) He prides himself on Loyalty & Respect.

1. He was honest and informed me about other women he talked to. At this time I didn’t care!

2. I would drive an hour to see him every weekend. He told me he loved me. His mouth is disrespectful & I kept asking home to stop.

3. We trauma bonded because we have both lost a child.

4. Connection, chemistry and vibes are unmatched!

4/2025-5/2025

1. He reached out after not speaking for a couple months. We continued communication for a few weeks. I communicated my boundaries and expectations… which he didn’t meet

2. He was packing to move out of his apartment & move in with a woman friend, I knew about!

3. He informed me that he was undergoing tests for cancer.

4. Unknown to me he went to the hospital and was diagnosed and I took it as lack of effort. He never told me he was in the hospital.

We stopped talking and I had no ideas of the cancer. Fast forward 3 months:

8/2025- current

1. He informs me of the cancer and that he sleeps in a room at a friends house ( they were formerly “a thing”)

2. He starts coming to see me every weekend although I’ll from chemo.

3. I had no intent for this to flourish into a “thing” for us just wanted to be a decent human and supportive of his chemo! Dec 4th he got the all clear… no more cancer but is regularly monitored!

4. 9 months in. We don’t live together but I’m on the lease and spend 3-4 days a week here. We do everything as a couple and we’re super close! 3-7 hours on the phone daily.

5. I felt some off energy and my intuition told me something was off! I didn’t snoop I just waited. After some very heated and disrespectful arguments. I notice him messaging a woman!

6. I asked him what we are and what we are doing because he talk future and plans. He said we are single & he is trying to get himself to get her to be the man I deserve.

7. I went through his phone to discover many women! 2 I can confirm from the messages he has slept with. The rest he is flirting and trying! I only brought up the most recent girl and I also reached out to her. It was a disaster!!!

8. We work past it but the trust is gone!

MY CONCERN IS I KNOW I WANT A RELATIONSHIP. Am I ignoring red flags knowing this man is very flirtatious? I honestly don’t expect a commitment but he talks about us moving out of state, talks about us having a business, we plan trips, we buy each other gifts! Like everything screams couple! HEEEEEP!!!!