The night of doom
Hello! I don't really know how to start talking about this, but I'm in a relationship that has been exhausting me mentally.
A few weeks ago, my girlfriend started going through some serious family issues (I'm not entirely sure what happened). Ever since then, she's been treating me differently. She often talks to me in a rude way, insults me, and when I try to bring up something that's bothering me, I somehow end up apologizing instead. She's also called me toxic and narcissistic. I know I'm not perfect, and I do talk about my own feelings, but I genuinely try to understand hers too.
Things aren't bad all the time. We still have sweet and romantic moments, which is why this is so confusing for me.
Last night we were playing Roblox together and laughing. At one point I gently asked if she could be a little more affectionate because she had seemed distant. She suddenly got very angry and said I was "looking for affection in a kids' game." She also criticized me for following her character in-game, while at the same time saying I wasn't being a gentleman because I wasn't letting her walk in front. She accused me of always running away from difficult conversations, but the truth is that I usually stay quiet for a few seconds because I'm trying to think before I speak.
Later she said I never take responsibility, even though I really try to. She also changed her phone wallpaper, which used to be a picture of us, and showed me the new one. That hurt me more than I expected.
I don't know if I'm overreacting, but I love her and I really don't want to lose her. At the same time, I feel emotionally exhausted and I'm starting to question whether this relationship is healthy for me.
Before we went to sleep, she still texted me "Goodnight ❤️". I fell asleep before I could reply. I don't know what to say when I wake up, and I also don't know whether I should keep trying to fix this relationship or whether I'm ignoring too many red flags. I'd really appreciate someone else's perspective.
Hmm, so it might be just a case of her being overwhelmed with the personal family drama and it being too intense to explain it for right now, that could be bringing the stress levels higher than normal and patience wears thin, when I bottle things up and don't deal with it.
At the same time though, there's only so much negativity and arguing someone will put up with, before they need to step away and re-think things..
What you could say is that, although I care deeply and value this relationship, I'm also getting tired and drained from it.
When we have opposing views, I'm not ignoring the issue, I would like you to give me time, to digest and then formulate my response, having thought it through carefully, from both our perspectives.
I understand that you are dealing with problems right now and I'm available if you need to vent or if you are not comfy with that, you could vent to a journal or friends because I do not want to walk on eggshells anymore, this is not healthy.
To be worried that you'll snap at me suddenly..
I hope it improves over time :)
