Think Twice Before Practicing 5 Crossovers That Destroy Trust

1. Mind Reading. We make up stories about a situation without evidence and jump to conclusions about what a coworker is thinking or doing before checking it out. This crossover of imposing your thoughts on someone else is a total disregard for what they might be thinking.

2. Emotion Reading. A similar crossover is known as emotion reading in which we conclude what a manager or colleague is feeling without asking. Checking out your presumption with a question instead of a conclusion respects the other person’s point of view as long as you’re genuinely curious and not bootlegging judgment.

3. Labeling. This crossover labels a coworker with negative attributes and name calling either to their face or behind their back: “You’re mean and selfish.” To dodge this trespass, step back and speak of yourself, using “I-messages” instead of “You-messages” such as “I’m uncomfortable with how we’re talking; I’d like to take a time out and come back when we’re calmer.”

4. Put-downs. Whether you’re a manager or employee, when you constantly criticize another’s behaviors or habits, it destroys trust.

5. Commanding. There are far more respectful ways to communicate expectations. To avoid the trespass of, “Don’t ever be late again,” state your concern, or ask a question with curiosity instead of judgment: “I’m concerned about your chronic lateness. Is there anything I can do to help?” You’re more likely to get the truth.

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Reflection:

What else do you think can destroy trust?

#Relationships #Communication #Trust

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