Toxic relationship

Hi, has anyone encountered something similar? How did you deal with it? I don't know, how to leave.

We recently started seeing each other again with my ex. Everything was pretty good, but the last few days he hasn't been communicating with me. Last night he texted me saying he was sorry, but that he was solving some problems, but that he loved me very much. I was looking forward to it. We saw each other today. He only had two hours to see me and left earlier. He avoided physical contact. He says he's not in the mood. But he sees other people normally and writes to them. I feel really bad that he's avoiding me. He says it has nothing to do with me. But he's done this a few times before and it always ended with him not wanting to continue the relationship. But then we got back together. The last time we saw each other before today's meeting, we went for a walk in the evening and had some intimacy. Everything was fine. But now when he was leaving he told me he would write to me somehow. But I'm tired of waiting for him to want to. whenever he wants, it's ok but when I want, I push him. I also told him that it hurts me mentally, I suffer from depression and anxiety and take antidepressants but this always throws me off. How can I trust him that he loves me when he doesn't care? He ignores my calls for help or claims that it's pressure and manipulation on my part. And that he doesn't have the capacity for it. I'm afraid he'll leave me. I know it's toxic but I can't get over it. I don't know what to do. The last time he ignored me like this was a month ago, he apologized. But I didn't eat, didn't sleep and had a mental breakdown from it and in the meantime he started with another girl. I can't forgive him and I keep coming back to it. Although we've worked it out. I'd like to stop feeling such pain all the time. I feel terribly rejected and humiliated. I had another relationship in the past with a partner who had narcissistic tendencies and it reminds me a lot of this.