Trigger: Forbidden, sui**dal love
My decade long unrequited love has ruined me, harassed me to the core and is set out to totally destroy me. I am 21, girl, still helplessly in love with my very first crush, almost 11 year long crush. He has blocked me everywhere. Not just this, my family emotionally torments me, does not approve of my love because I unfortunately fell for "the enemy's son"( His parents had previously maltreated my parents) and blames me for my issues and just tells me to sweep everything under the carpet.
I am like honestly su*c*dal. I don't know what to do. I am already broken beyond repair by his unofficial rejection, plus my family's lack of support is compounding this to an extent of insanity. Please guide me if possible.
@Sanvee11
I'm really glad you reached out. I want you to know from the bottom of my heart: your pain is real, and it matters. You are not weak for feeling so much. In fact, it shows how deeply you are capable of loving, and that is a rare, beautiful thing even if right now, it feels like a curse.
Losing someone you’ve loved for so long, especially when it feels like everyone around you is turning their back too, can make you feel like you’re completely alone in the world. But you’re not alone, even though it feels unbearably lonely. Please hear me when I say this: you are not broken beyond repair. You are hurting, but you are still here. You are breathing, reaching out, fighting through the storm inside you. That is incredible strength.
It’s okay to grieve. It’s okay to feel shattered. You invested years of dreams and emotions into this person and losing that feels like losing a part of yourself. It's normal to feel like the ground has fallen out from under you. But as impossible as it sounds right now, there is a life beyond this pain. You are worthy of love, of support, and of a future where you are not carrying all this heartbreak alone.
Your family's treatment is not your fault . Love doesn’t follow politics or family feuds it just happens. You loved someone sincerely, and there is nothing wrong or shameful about that. You deserve kindness and understanding, not blame.
Right now, please, take things hour by hour if you have to. Don't think about tomorrow or next week just focus on surviving this moment. If the dark thoughts get overwhelming, it’s important to reach out to someone you trust, or even a crisis helpline. You are desperately needed in this world , even if you can’t see how yet. There are people you haven’t even met yet who will love you for exactly who you are, scars and all.
Your story isn't over, even though it feels like it. Please hold on. You are precious, even if others failed to treat you that way.
And I’m here to remind you you still have the power to rebuild, even if it’s one tiny piece at a time.
You are stronger than this heartbreak. You are not alone. And you are so, so needed.
I’m proud of you for surviving this far. Keep going.
Would you like me to also share a few small steps you could take right now, just to ease your heart a little? I can stay with you through this if you want.
@16peacefulBraveheart01 thank you so much for your kind uplifting words. Yes, please tell me some steps to get out of this suffering. Thanks once again.
I remenber when my boyfriend left me at first discussion. I was so sad!! The tool I round was art, I assisted every day to different art clases. I draw hearts and things related to love. I suggest You to find some activity to canalizate You love sadness, time will help You. I know that You feel tha's imposible now to love without him, but time will health You and Will bring a new love for You. You'll see. Best wishes for You andyou must love You more than anyone. Ok?
@Tristona thank you, will try to do the same.
My feelings have mellowed now but they keep ebbing and flowing. Hope life gets better for me.
Why on earth do my posts get such low attention? Just now I viewed a forum post of a depressed, s*icid*l teen and he/she was getting so many soothing comments and support. Why not me? Am I not worth it?
I haven't experienced anything similar to it, but i want you to go easy on yourself, i hope and pray you get better.
Here's something that helped me in tough times,
trying to open up anonymously with strangers here on 7cups, calling crisis helplines when i need, doing this guided meditation https://youtu.be/6n0k0qggM-U?si=ggyKM50z8MSe9AEX, JOURNALING, Gratitude Journaling, are some things that helped me.
Also,
Not being an expert but,
One thing you can do to slowly get rid of your "bad" habits is the "ease of access" to the things related to it.
For example last night I put my phone, laptop, earphones, etc in another room because I was addicted to them.
Instead I put shoes and socks at place where I could see them easily so that whenever I wake up I can't find the screens instead I find the shoes and maybe go for a walk.
I hope you slowly and surely work on yourself, I'm trying too, I hope things get better for you and anyone in a similar situation. I am not a listener here but would love to get in touch with you if possible.
@wittyBlackberry3822 thank you so much for your honeyed words.
@Sanvee11 Do you have access to any good people whom you trust or crisis helplines. Please get in touch with them ASAP. I just want you to be safe. Please let us know if you need any help, just type it here we'll see if any one of us can help.
I would really appreciate a reply to this
@wittyBlackberry3822 just saw your message. I have my family who loves me a lot, but mental health is a stigma in my home, so that's the only thing they neglect which sucks but yeah it's a fact. I am an introvert so am not in touch with my few university friends. No therapy allowed. So right now there's no one in my milieu whom I can turn to for succour.
@wittyBlackberry3822 my main problem is obsessive unrequited love with my very first crush but it has also caused a host of other mental disorders, the most ghastly ones being OCD and depression.
Just thought I'd share this with you if you want to try online therapy you can get one month free by joining this link: 
You'll need to provide your card details it may deduct a small amount initially but will refund it shortly so you can try the first month for free
I suggest you give it a shot We care about you Please take care of yourself
Let me know if you need help setting it up. Please don't hesitate one bit.
@wittyBlackberry3822 I am unemployed, and I cannot use my parents' money without their permission which they will not give. I have a card but it's controlled by my parents. I cannot make any payment, am helpless.
@Sanvee11
if you are serious about at least trying it out, reach out to me on my mail, maybe I can help
f2506097@***.com
@Sanvee11
If not, you can join one of these sessions. I’m not sure if they’re specifically for India, but I’m pretty sure they’ll let you in regardless. 
@Sanvee11 I hope you get some help
@wittyBlackberry3822 thank you so much for your help. I will try to join and check.
@Sanvee11
you’re welcome, please do try joining whichever session you relate to, i am thinking of joining one as well.
@wittyBlackberry3822 yeah sure. Thanks again.