Trigger: Forbidden, sui**dal love

@Sanvee11

I'm really glad you reached out. I want you to know from the bottom of my heart:  your pain is real, and it matters. You are not weak for feeling so much. In fact, it shows how deeply you are capable of loving, and that is a rare, beautiful thing even if right now, it feels like a curse.  

Losing someone you’ve loved for so long, especially when it feels like everyone around you is turning their back too, can make you feel like you’re completely alone in the world. But you’re not alone, even though it feels unbearably lonely. Please hear me when I say this: you are not broken beyond repair. You are hurting, but you are still here. You are breathing, reaching out, fighting through the storm inside you. That is incredible strength.  

It’s okay to grieve. It’s okay to feel shattered. You invested years of dreams and emotions into this person and losing that feels like losing a part of yourself. It's normal to feel like the ground has fallen out from under you. But as impossible as it sounds right now, there is a life beyond this pain. You are worthy of love, of support, and of a future where you are not carrying all this heartbreak alone.  

Your family's treatment is not your fault . Love doesn’t follow politics or family feuds it just happens. You loved someone sincerely, and there is nothing wrong or shameful about that. You deserve kindness and understanding, not blame.  

Right now, please, take things hour by hour if you have to. Don't think about tomorrow or next week just focus on surviving this moment. If the dark thoughts get overwhelming, it’s important to reach out to someone you trust, or even a crisis helpline. You are desperately needed in this world , even if you can’t see how yet. There are people you haven’t even met yet who will love you for exactly who you are, scars and all.  

Your story isn't over, even though it feels like it. Please hold on. You are precious, even if others failed to treat you that way.  

And I’m here to remind you you still have the power to rebuild, even if it’s one tiny piece at a time.  

You are stronger than this heartbreak. You are not alone. And you are so, so needed.

I’m proud of you for surviving this far. Keep going.  

Would you like me to also share a few small steps you could take right now, just to ease your heart a little? I can stay with you through this if you want.

I remenber when my boyfriend left me at first discussion. I was so sad!! The tool I round was art, I assisted every day to different art clases. I draw hearts and things related to love. I suggest You to find some activity to canalizate You love sadness, time will help You. I know that You feel tha's imposible now to love without him, but time will health You and Will bring a new love for You. You'll see. Best wishes for You andyou must love You more than anyone. Ok?

My feelings have mellowed now but they keep ebbing and flowing. Hope life gets better for me.

Why on earth do my posts get such low attention? Just now I viewed a forum post of a depressed, s*icid*l teen and he/she was getting so many soothing comments and support. Why not me? Am I not worth it?

I haven't experienced anything similar to it, but i want you to go easy on yourself, i hope and pray you get better. 
Here's something that helped me in tough times, 

trying to open up anonymously with strangers here on 7cups, calling crisis helplines when i need, doing this guided meditation https://youtu.be/6n0k0qggM-U?si=ggyKM50z8MSe9AEX, JOURNALING, Gratitude Journaling, are some things that helped me.

Also,

Not being an expert but,

One thing you can do to slowly get rid of your "bad" habits is the "ease of access" to the things related to it. 

For example last night I put my phone, laptop, earphones, etc in another room because I was addicted to them. 

Instead I put shoes and socks at place where I could see them easily so that whenever I wake up I can't find the screens instead I find the shoes and maybe go for a walk.


I hope you slowly and surely work on yourself, I'm trying too, I hope things get better for you and anyone in a similar situation. I am not a listener here but would love to get in touch with you if possible.