URGENTLY advice needed

I need some honest advice because I’m really confused about my feelings right now.

So me and my boyfriend have been together for around 2 years (long distance), and we’ve actually known each other since childhood. Our first year was a bit rough—he wasn’t very serious and there wasn’t much emotional depth— for the first year I was the one putting in extra effort—chasing, fixing fights, managing his anger, holding things together. but things changed a lot in the second year. He improved, worked on his anger, and we got really close. We made plans for the future, and our families even know about us now. His side has met me too, so it’s not something casual anymore—our rishta is almost there, just waiting for things to be official.

The problem is… something has changed in me.

I do love him, and the thought of losing him still hurts me a lot. But at the same time, I feel emotionally disconnected. I get irritated easily, I start unnecessary fights, and my behavior has become very “I don’t care” even though deep down I do. It’s like my feelings aren’t matching my actions anymore. Like my behaviour has kinda became like i don't give a *** about whats happening and if you talk or not i am okay. But deep down i know i am wrong and i love him,i feel guilty and all the stuff like that.

He has genuinely tried to become better for me, and I can see that. That’s why I feel even more guilty for feeling this way now.

I don’t want to break up. I want things to work and go back to how they used to be, but I don’t know how to fix myself or these feelings.

Also I’ve talked to him about how I’ve been feeling, and he’s been really understanding about it. He’s willing to wait for me and give me time, which honestly makes me feel even more confused and guilty.

Has anyone been through something like this?

How do you deal with losing that emotional connection even when the person is right for you?

Is this normal or am I ruining something good?

Please be kind, I really need genuine advice 🤍