Unbearable pain…Divorce

I’m going through a separation currently. I am still in talking terms with my wife, but she has mentally checked out. Every one of her birthdays everyone of her holiday holidays, everyone of Our vacations I’ve ruined. I’ve only realized now that I’ve been giving her Below the bare minimum and that’s all she ever asked of me was the bare minimum. I never learned to control my emotions my reactions my traumas. I took everything from her from her body, her mind, her soul to the very well-being of who she was. There’s basically nothing left of her and it’s all my fault and I have to live with this pain and his burden. I know it’s a weird situation. I’m going through because she’s moving out next year in April. She’s just gonna finish off the lease That way, it won’t be financially hard for both of us. She’s always been the type to show respect, love and loyalty and even till now she still talks to me and still shares a few words here and there, but it’s nothing to do romantically, etc. It feels like now I’m the one trying to get her back but at this point, she’s basically mentally done. This is my first ever marriage and I thought it would be my forever, but I was so wrong and I guess I’m in need of some help or guidance.