Want to find love
I constantly think I will not find the girl for me. I am out of college and work a full time job and dont know how to meet people. I know im young but stress I wont meet someone. Im introverted and dont like to drink alot so idk how im going to do it at a bar. There are girls at the gym I want to go up to but feel like they will think im creepy or they have boyfriends. It makes me sad when I see relationship stuff online or couples out in public bc thats what I want.
@jjshap28 What if you could be less introverted?
Not sure if this will help too much but it’s worth a shot. I’m a female in my early 20’s fresh out of college and I wish more guys would shoot their shot. There aren’t many women that i know of that would intentionally be mean or creeped out as long as you were polite, i think most women would be flattered actually regardless of their response. I would say woman for the most part are good about saying they want to talk to you without any words actually being spoken. Eye contact and smiling could be a give away that she might want to talk to you too or she’s intrigued by you. just because drinking isn’t your thing doesn’t mean you can’t find someone who shares your interests. There are plenty of other places to meet people, anywhere from small coffee shops to huge malls. you say you’re introverted which can make things trickier but not impossible. Maybe get together with a few friends and go do karaoke or even just walking around outside strike up a conversation with a stranger. As much as i hate to say it myself, dating apps like hinge is a fun way to connect with people in your area based common interests and if matches go inactive they delete in 24hr so no one wastes their time and you can take some of the pressure off of striking up a conversation with someone in person. And remember confidence is key as long as you feel confident or can at least fake it people will naturally be attracted to you. It’s okay to initiate a relationship but remember don’t go specifically looking for one and it will come when you least expect it!
Wow that is great advice, thanks so much! I want to approach girls at the gym but i never have the confidence and dont know what I would say. There is that stigma that you shouldn’t go up to girls at the gym bc its creepy, so I dont. I wouldnt even know what to say. Same thing at a bar. Idk what to say to start a convo. I never get a read on if someone is into me or not. My previous girlfriend said i was bad at knowing if girls are flirting with me or are into me.
That’s the funny thing about confidence, you don’t need it! Just by tricking yourself into thinking you do you opens up your mind to so many new possibilities and opportunities! What I think about when im nervous or don’t think I have the confidence, I tell myself who honestly cares. This world is filled with people who all want the same thing, to feel that sense of love and feeling like you’re wanted by someone in a romantic way. The worst a girl can do is say she has a boyfriend or she’s not looking for a relationship. But guess what no big deal bc there is someone else out there who is. I do see what you’re saying about not wanting to be creepy in the gym especially where girls feel vulnerable. My best advice would be to find a time where it’s not awkward or going to make her uncomfortable, maybe as she’s packing up to leave or even in between sets and if your by each other you could say something along the lines of “hey i’ve seen you in here a couple times during my workouts and you seem like a nice girl and I just wanted to know if maybe you’d wanna go grab something to eat or drinks somewhere sometime”(does not have to be alcohol) and if she can see that “confidence” on you i’m sure you could get her number. And if you do find yourself at a bar just go sit up there and make some eye contact with a girl you wanna try and get to know and if you think she’s feeling you back even a little go up to her and ask what she’s drinking and offer to by her the next one or ask if she’s from around town. If not lucky for you she has a tour guide who can *take her out* and show her 😉. And if she is from the same area try to find things in common, ask about college if applicable, what she does for work. stuff like that once you get over the initial nerve of making the first move it’s easy conversation. And if you run out of things to talk about bring up things your interested in to see if she vibes with your interests. I’m not going to lie to you though a LOT of guys “don’t take the hints and are clueless”. Not all but a lot, and truth is maybe she just didn’t know how to flirt so you didn’t know what you were looking for. A hint I can give you is to look for the 4 dead giveaways: 1. you catch her looking at you and especially if you hold eye contact but not to long where she’s scared haha. 2. if your talking to her or looking at her and she keeps fidgeting with her hair a lot or a necklace she wants you to acknowledge that she looks good and you can tell her she does just don’t make it seem like your trying to rip her clothes off, 3. triangle method if she looks at your left eye then right then your lips she wants you to kiss her, and 4. if you notice when your sitting next to each other if her legs and body are angled towards you it means she’s feeling comfortable around you and you could even try some sort of physical touch. again nothing over the top or weird just like slightly touching arms or legs or hands literally anything. Girls, anyway girls like me just want someone to want them back and it’s really that simple. If a guy had the courage come up to me and buy me a drink or ask for my number, he could make a complete fool out of himself but the fact he had the confidence to come up to me in the first place shows a lot about what someone values in life. And id give him the chance so I don’t see why a girl wouldn’t give you one you seem like a genuine dude. Good luck, and you got this worst that will happen is one girl turns you down, well that just means you have more opportunities to talk to new people and find someone you click with!
@jjshap28 See autumfrost990 is your wing-woman. You got this!
