When are the expectations to High
Hi, my name is Christian Im a 25 year old man. I never dated in school because I was never interested until I was around age 23, now being 25 I have still never been on a date and just through my dating journey not even the what Ive been through with dealing with depression not feeling good enough for women. I have read, seen, been told, so many things about dating from YouTube to a overpriced dating programand, advice from men and women or my personal experience. When I have learned that the expectations on both side keep people from even a first date just to have a good time and meet someone new when does it become more then a numbers game and more like a lottery for everyone looking for the few people that actually have realistic expectations. I have learned about myself that I want love more than anything, I want to be that kind and loving partner for someone but at what point dose that just become a waste of time. I don't play the regular lottery and Im not sure I should play the dating lottery either.
@Cam1364 You can do this. First, don’t make love your target. Make learning the skill of dating your target? Do you enjoy food? Do you want to enjoy a woman’s company? Make enjoying the date your target. Some of the skills of dating is just relax. Try to entertain your date and make the experience fun for them. You do that by not appearing needy. You do that by listening carefully to what your date says and trying to attend to what they might be thinking and feeling. Learn meditation so you can also be aware of what you are thinking and feeling. So you are really in the moment being in tune with her and with yourself. There are many books and such that can help you with these concepts. It may sound overwhelming or maybe over simple, but dating really isn’t hard if you get prepared and then let the results unfold as they will. I have had great dates, dates where I got stood up, dates that clearly were not working, and dates that ended before we even sat down. It’s not a lottery. It’s a “game” and the more you do it the better you get at it. If you find someone on a dating site or whatever and they agree to go to coffee lunch or dinner, you’re in the game. Results of any one date are not guaranteed. But sitting on the sidelines is guaranteed to get you no where. Are you willing to learn the skills necessary for the game? That’s your starting point. Good luck.
I don't think you got what I said, like at all. I have never been on a date in my life and never gotten a chance in the First place no matter what I have tried, in person or online doesn't matter. Changing my profile many times different apps nothing.
@Cam1364 Ah, got it. Sorry I misunderstood. I know there are some bigger challenges in finding a date than there used to be. Don’t give up.
Howdy! I'm a 29 year old guy who has never been on a date, so I think I know where you're coming from.
I've shared interesting and important moments with people that had nothing to do with a date, like going camping with someone and just having a great time. Or being in a car alone with someone on the way back from a party, listening to really nice music and just having a great conversation. Love doesn't only exist in the dating sphere— there are plenty of women who find the idea of dates overwhelming and annoying as well, I'm sure. Admittedly it's a little bit easier on a date because you both know you're there to measure each other as potential partners, but if the atmosphere and concept of dating aren't working for you, it's not the end of the world.
It might be interesting to talk to women about how they feel about dating and the expectations around it. Maybe you'll meet someone who doesn't get on with dates either.