advice?
i’m new here but it seems like a good place to get everything off my chest
my boyfriend of a year and a half moved in about 5 months ago after being a long distance relationship. during his visits before moving in- he was lovey and wanted to go on dates and be intimate a lot (which i know visits are visits only a short amount of time) but ever since he moved in we just don’t hang out like out of the house. He hangs out with his friends and coworkers a lot (3 hours drinking beers with his coworkers almost every day) but when i ask if we can go see a movie or go for a walk or to the park, he says no or he’s tired or just doesn’t want to. we haven’t been intimate but maybe a handful of times which always ends with just him because he says im “too much work”.
i just feel like i deserve more from him, i had to practically bully him into a dinner date and it went decently i guess but then at the store he said he was going to buy these nicotine things you out like under your lip? and i asked him not to and he started joking about it and saying he’s going to anyway which is one of Many things he’s done in the past week alone. he was reminiscing about having sex in the car with his ex in front of me and his brothers, and he’s just so mean and sloppy and irritating when he’s drunk. so when i tried to make him promise he wouldn’t buy the nicotine things he just started getting nasty and saying let’s go stop making this an argument
ive stopped dying my hair and haven’t gotten any more tattoos and i walk on eggshells to make sure i don’t cross a line he has out down for me but when i ask something of him it’s just a chore and i’m being crazy.
im at the point where i feel like i don’t know what to do i enjoy our good moments but lately it’s been way more bad than good.
Everytime i try to bring something up he gets defensive- maybe i can work on my talking skills but the amount of times i’ve had to sit him down and tell him i do not feel loved i feel neglected i feel like i deserve more, it just goes in one ear and out the other
@bippys hello there. i am kate, a trained listener and community mentor of this community. it is nice to meet you
it really sounds like a horrible situation you are in. it seems like your partner was being nice and loving toward you up until the moment he moved in with you, which is very unfair and hurtful of him to do to you. it seems as though he no longer cherishes you and appreciates or even respects you the way that he did before. how do you plan on dealing with this matter?