crushing

This is gonna be long and im just posting it here cause i need to tell someone and this is the only place no one i know irl would find it. 

i have a crush on this guy. ive had a crush on him all through my last relationship and since ive broken up the crush has just gotten worse. im in marching band and he’s my section leader, AND he has a girlfriend, so i know its unlikely id ever even have a chance with him and it’d probably just end up being really awkward if anyone i know found out

it’s gotten to the point where i can hardly have a conversation with him without getting flustered and this is quite an issue considering i literally have to talk to him and see him every day during practice and im getting scared that my friends are gonna start noticing how i act around him and say something 

idk what i hope to get out of posting this i just need to get it out of my system