heartbroken

i’m so confused and unsure of what to do.. my long distant gf and i have always been.. having a really rocky relationship, i love her dearly, and i know she loves me, but this has been eating at me.. the long distance is killing me and i haven’t been happy about it, considering my love languages are all physical, and so it makes it hard to feel loved, even though she says it multiple times, and for the past 6 months or so, it’s really gotten to me, the distance i mean, and i have been going like insane, i have tried to distance myself, ive tried to leave her, and its never successful, i love her so much it hurts, she’s the only one i think about, only one that makes me really happy, and during one of the times i tried to leave her.. she was unfaithful.. and tried to “get over me” using another man, i know it was me who ended things, but recently i found out she did that, and it hurt, i was shaking, hyperventilating, and almost broke down into tears.. but i had to hold back because im at my aunts house on vacation in turkey, so i wasnt able to fully let lose of my emotions, and i wasnt able this close to ending things with her 🤏, but her and her friend managed to.. somewhat.. calm me down and i managed to give her a second chance.. but it’s been a couple days and i still feel super hurt, insanely stressed, upset and angry at her, and im insanely terrified i’ll never trust her, i have never ever given anyone a second chance after anything, but i really love this girl, and so i gave in.. now im lost confused and i don’t know what to do, i can’t trust any of her words anymore, even the most simplest thing.. im unsure of what to do.. this turned out to be a vent and all around im so sorry omg.