help and tips needed.
i cheated on my bf and im aware of my actions and i understand how he feels. i cheated and i’m on my journey on becoming better. yet i’m having a lot of stress because i am unsure on where to start. i’m an emotional wreck becuz rn im super unsure on what our relationship status is. one second we’re fine and then they other we’re upset. i’m trying to be better becayse he has given me this opportunity and chance but at thr same time it has been feeling like he isnt going to change his mjnd about me. we both stated we wanted this to work and so i am trying my best but i don’t know what i can do. my mental health is declining rapidly and i dont jnow whag i’m doing and im so shaken up and i really need help. i want to be a better person for me, him, and also others around me. please help.
@lawliqht
Sorry to hear you're going through this. I'm proud of you for acknowledging your mistake and wanting to become a better partner.
As a person who can tell you has made the same mistake, It will not be easy to repair this relationship. It will take a lot of patience, understanding and changing from you, and a lot of healing, accepting, and emotional control from your partner. It could take months, even years for things to be "back to normal".
Ask yourself and your partner if you are truly willing and able to put in the energy to repair the relationship. A huge part on your end would be indentifying what was causing you to feel like you needed to cheat and address it. If you don't, you could easily slip back into making the same mistake.
i don’t know how to become better, its been a month and it still feels like everything i do is wrong, i’m not sure on how to become healthy, to be the best version of myself - im struggling sb 💔
i don’t know how to become better, its been a month and it still feels like everything i do is wrong, i’m not sure on how to become healthy, to be the best version of myself - im struggling sb 💔
@lawliqht coming from someone who was betrayed by the one they love. The back and forth of fighting and emotions comes from a place of insecurities and questions as well as brokenness. This does not mean the person doesn't believe you'll change or not see you in a good light again. It means they are craving safety and security in a time where it's almost inaccessible. It takes consistent effort and reassurance to get to a good place. Even then that person could still take years to fully trust you. It's up to you if you love this person enough to go through the hard work and pain it takes to get there.
@lawliqht,
trust has been broken and it takes a lot of time, space, effort (from both sides) to reconnect.
I have been cheated upon (now ex wife had an emotional affair). You have one big plus going for you, you admitted (I guess you were open about it to your partner that is).
Like somebody else said, it's important to do some soul searching and ask yourself why. Apparently something was lacking and if you know what, you know what you needed at the time (and still need nowadays).
Having said that, have you considered getting a relationship therapist? To help you both to learn to communicate in kindness, to create mutual grounds, connection, understanding? It's not easy, it's hard work, but if the rift is not too big, if there's genuine mutual love and commitment, it might just help.
i feel like i’ve made progress ( in becoming rhe best version of myself ), not the biggest change, but even just the smallest; i don’t lie anymore, i start to appreciate the things i have in life as i only have little much left due to my actions, i’m still striving for more but i’m still struggling. i’m trying to figure out what more i could do, but at the same time; as soon as one thing goes bad, i end up feeling like i can’t breathe. i’m just so scared; i know i’ve hurt him and destroyed what we had, but even if he never does end up forgiving me in whcih i dont expect him to, i want to try and make an impact even if its small; its js i dont know what else to do 😞
