i need advice
i’ve been dating a girl for 2+ years and our relationship was perfect. when i started college our relationship started to go downhill. i’m not sure if it’s because we go to the same college or what but she has been distant and doesn’t really appreciate my time. i tried talking to her about it but it always ended in me crying myself to sleep while she slept right next to me. i’m tired of feeling like a burden to her while all i want is for her to love me. she started hanging out with her friends a lot which upset me because i never get to see the happy side of her anymore. i do get jealous when she’s with them because i want her to want to be around me like she wants to be around them. we’re currently on a break right now so she can “stop hurting me and work on herself” but this whole time she’s just been doing things that she knows would upset me. it’s hard not texting her or seeing her, and honestly i’m not really sure what to do anymore. i’m so busy and this happening makes me want to lay in bed all day. i just want to text her all day and see her but my messages go unread. last night i asked her to come up to my room when she was done hanging out with her friends so we could talk but she told me she didn’t want to see anyone and kept saying no. i feel like i’m holding onto her more and she’s pushing me away. i need advice guys because i feel so lost and don’t know what to do. i don’t understand how you can do this to someone you love. we’re still dating, but it feels like she’s slowly letting me go. please give me the best advice, i really need someone during this time. i need to know how to not want to text/ see her everyday or feel so lost without her.
@orangeHuman7383
Hi there. Sorry to hear this. It does sound like a rather one sided relationship so do make sure to look after yourself and work towards what’s good for you.
Have you shared how you feel with anyone, ie. friend, family member? Sending a ((hug)) as it sounds like you need one. Thanks for reaching out 🌹
i have reached out to friends and they always tell me our relationship is over. the hard thing is i don’t want it to be over because i really do love her so much. it’s hard when you’ve been with someone every day and talked to them every day just for this to happen. it’s hard not being chosen first.
@orangeHuman7383
I don't want to shame you, as you seem to have really good intentions. At the same time, if a woman has a man constantly asking her for something, even after she says "no", you are not listening to boundaries that she has established, and it erodes feelings of safety in a relationship. The best thing to do is to apologize for not listening to her boundaries and tell her that you care about her and will give her space, and if she wants to reach out, she can text you. If you are struggling with insecurity or fear, it might help to talk your campus's counseling center and talk to someone. It might help you process what is going on
Think of your relationship like a butterfly who landed on your hand. If you are so scared for it to leave and you close your hand, it will destroy the butterfly. But, if you keep your hand open and let it go, it may fly back to you one day. Probably not today or tomorrow, but someday. That may not happen, but there is a better chance it could return than if you were to destroy it. If it's meant to be, things will fall into place some day, but that can't happen unless you let her go, work on yourself, and maybe get back out there to date other people. You may find that you like someone else better.
