need advice
Im a very introvert person. I’m very shy and i have some friends but not a lot.
I have been in a relationship with a guy for two years now and i have problems dealing with my own emotions.
Let me explain. He is very extrovert so he tends to talk to everyone without differencing boys or girls. My problem is that everytime that he talks to girls i start to overthink a lot even if the conversation that they had was innocent.
That lead to me being controlling and he feeling stressed because of this situation.
I want to change because i believe that everyone should have their own space to talk to friends. But it’s really difficult for me to regulate this emotions and thoughts every time it happens.
What should i do?
@Cherry3768
I am an extreme introvert myself. If at a party, I'm the guy who sits quietly in a corner. Sometimes I'll look around the room for someone else who seems to be feeling shy or awkward, then I'll initiate a conversation, so we can be shy and awkward together.
I am married to an extrovert, but I think some of my introversion has rubbed off on her.
One thing I've come to realize, is that the world needs introverts as much or maybe even more than extroverts. We are the watchers. We observe and gain insights that extroverts often don't have time to think about. Therefore, an introvert and extrovert in a relationship can be very compatible and complementary. An intelligent extrovert (like my wife) really appreciates the elegant emotional maturity that evolves within an introvert.
I can see where overthinking may occur if you suspect that his extraversion is connecting to others in a way in which you cannot. The thing to remember is that as an introvert, you can connect to him in ways that others cannot.
He has chosen to be with you, probably in no small part because of your quiet sweetness and wisdom.
What should you do? We really aren't allowed to give advice, but I invite you to to give the entire issue some more thought, and consider whether my thoughts on the matter are helpful.
Hi Cherry.
Thanks for reaching out. If I were you, I’d be looking at why I feel as I do? Where does this stem from? Just a few questions to start asking yourself. Once you start to understand yourself and why you feel as you do, you’ll be able to look at ways to help yourself.