need advice on breakup
Me and my ex were together for about 6–7 months, and it was long distance, so I got really emotionally attached and invested in him. He’s more avoidant, and he told me he’s been going through things internally and doesn’t have the capacity for anyone right now, so he wants to focus on himself. He also said we couldn’t really be friends, even though he still loves me he’s just emotionally unavailable.
I tried to respect that and started moving on, even though it’s been really hard. But then I saw he added another girl, and that hurt because it felt inconsistent with what he told me. Like, if you’re going through things and don’t have capacity, why are you still engaging with other people? It made me feel confused and really disappointed.
I ended up sending him a message explaining how I felt, not to argue but just to be honest, and now I feel really vulnerable and emotional. I’ve been crying a lot and I think I’m just processing the breakup, the mixed signals, and the fact that he’s not able to show up for me the way I need.
@purpleChestnut5580
I can imagine how confusing and disappointing it is. It seems that something very meaningful for you was ended. He told you something you wished was true. Is it worth to try to determine how much? I think you might never find out. Could it be enough to accept that he wants something else but appreciated you enough to try to leave gently (even if he executed it not perfectly)?
Did he tell you the whole truth? Was there more from the beginning or it is just changing really fast? Maybe you don’t need to know? I know it’s not easy to accept. It sounds like you wish he trusted you with the whole truth. That being trusted is very important for you. Maybe you don’t need to know what his limitations were/are? Maybe it’s better to focus on what was/is true for you?
Being a friend after break up is like watching your ex thriving their life with someone else while you sitting on front row and clapping. No problem and no relationship bigger than anything. Everything possible can be resolved in mutual understanding all you need is that you both have to transperant. I have gone through it. LDR is all about communication, transperant, trust and understanding. That's why I failed
