some sort of attachment issues
Im 17. My girlfriend of one year was supposed to leave for a 1 week trip with her best friend and then come back on the 19th to celebrate our one year anniversary and then leave for 3-4 days again with her best friend which would in total be basically a 10 day trip with me seeing her in between.
This is because last summer she was gone for 2 weeks straight and she promised she’d never have to do it again so I was happy. But since she’s been gone I just bedrot in my room, I have nothing to do since our other friends are also busy, Ive already watched every good movie, played a ton of games, spoke to people online. Everything simply became boring and it all just angers me. All I do is lay in my bed and switch between social media apps and then throw tantrums because I dont wanna be doing that since its all boring, but I cant bring myself to do anything else.
I havent showered practically since she left. And i get more disappointed each day as I wait for her to reply for usually like an hour or two just for her to tell me she wont be able to see me for our anniversary and then that she wont be able to see me for the whole next week either which totals to 2 weeks without her again.
I know its not her choice sometimes, and that she cant do much. I also know its much easier for her to handle it because shes somewhere fun with her best friend and they do stuff all day so im sure the time is flying by for her and stuff, but not for me.
Everyday I just get sadder and more bored and I tried so many things to entertain myself but it really feels like the end of the world. I dont know why I feel like this, I know its not healthy or normal and I know im very lucky because 2 weeks is nothing, Im also not insecure about our relationship, i know she loves me alot and would never replace me and i know our relationship will be just fine after shes back but it doesnt stop me from feeling like an empty body trying to entertain itself knowing it’ll inevitably just end up waiting for the day to pass.
I dont know how to stop, handle or define this issue.. so please, if you know what exactly it is or have advice im all ears
Hey @ekofrendli,
In your words I can hear how heavy and raw everything feels in the situation you are in. It sounds like you feel stuck, alone, and overwhelmed since your girlfriend left with the days dragging for longer than normal not giving you any sense of relief either. Missing someone is not easy especially when it is someone you are close with, leaving us feeling disconnected leading to normal things we typically enjoy leaving us empty instead. Even when it does not feel like it, you are trying your best even though the distractions are not working in your favor. You mentioned not being able to put a word on how your feeling, however, the detail you gave made sense, it showed how your floating through days with no ground to stand on. This kind of emptiness can feel unbearable especially when time is moving slower for you than it is for her. What makes this different, is that you were able to identify this even when you could not pinpoint a specific word, but you're not alone. Be gentle with yourself, even when nothings feels right, it is valid to feel this way.
Sending you warmth, take it one day at a time.😊
