16yr Age Gap 9 yrs together
Long story not sure where to begin. Our relationship has rarely been ours. I have 2 kids, his ex (20yr Age Gap) was pregnant when we got together, his step father passed, and his mother passed all within the first 14 months of our relationship. Shortly after my bfs sister, who lived with his grandparents, moved out of state. We then slowly started taking care of them. First by going over once a week and as their health declined we eventually moved in with them, that was 2 years ago. Since then they have both passed and he lost 3 other family members in the past year. (No one from covid) We had ups and downs in our relationship he moved out 2 different times, both times moved back. I was hesitant to move in to his grandparents with him because of that. Since his grandparents passed he's suppose to get the house. Him and I arranged their after death plans and hired an attorney to come to the house and do their trust. Now his estranged Aunt and Uncle are suing us for elder fraud and contesting the will. I'm 49 he is 33. I could've spent the last 9 years with a man who was more established in his life but I fell hard for this guy and have given him all the support, trust, loyalty and love a woman can give a man. Now he's pushing me away. Picking fights etc. There are a more details, with 9 years of history, but this is the micro version of our relationship. Please feel free to ask me questions or send advice. My thoughts, he's overwhelmed, he feels guilty for what we're going through and would feel better but having to worry about me too. Today he threw swords though accusing me of treating him like a kid and saying we have nothing in common. Which I call bs, we use to watch movies together all the time, we just went to Vegas and a concert for 4 days and he kept saying it was the best time in a long time. (We haven't done much in the last 2 years while living with his grandparents.) Anyway can't wait to hear from some of you. Thanks 😊
I'm pretty confused as well, the way you describe anything it's as if the age Gap doesn't make a difference in anything at all. Are you suggesting that he thinks you're treating him like a kid because of the age Gap? Was his ex pregnant with his child meaning you had an extra child to take care of through child support? I'm assuming when you said he moved out two different times that was BEFORE you and him moved in with the grandparents, meaning both of you separated for a while previous to this incident. You would have to discuss all that will stuff with the attorney, although it's the will says goes to y'all, and through bills and paperwork you have proof you help them in their last stages it may be hard for others to contest. I'm not sure what you mean near the end of your story. And would feel better but having to worry about me too. Have no idea what I'm supposed to do with that he would feel better without you is what you're saying I guess. Same thing with the swords sentence ah, I don't know what it means, he threw swords though accusing me. Okay maybe you meant he threw swords through (by way of) accusing you of treating him like a kid. It sounds like both of you are going through a really rough patch oh, but you've been together for quite some time, and that's about all I have. Try and stick it together you've been together this far, unless he's trying to find a way to push you away or get rid of you oh, just sounds like you need a little sticking their advice until things settle down and both you and him can relax, finally! You both took care of people nobody else would or could, just ride the storm and then enjoy the calm. I'm also wondering if you brought up the age difference for a reason but didn't want to disclose that reason. I'm 40 and the oldest woman I have dated was 62, though that doesn't happen often. Though it is fun to gross people out if with if they're being rude and I want them to go away. For the most part I don't fall in love with h I fall in love with the woman which I become more attracted to the more I connect with her. Have a good day, both of ya!
The age gap has not really ever come up as an issue until recently. He says we have nothing in common. Which is not true, one example of many we just got back from a concert in Vegas that we go to every year. Neither one of us have really been doing much of anything the last couple years, because of caring for his grandparents. He has taken up motorcycle riding and got me a bike too but won't get it registered so I can start riding. He plays video games and drinks beer the majority of his time. He hasn't had a regular job in over 3 years and I think he's depressed more than anything. The last couple weeks he starts fights frequently and the last 2 nights slept in the other room and barely speaks to me. He's suppose to have an interview in a couple days. In the meantime I'm just trying to give him his space and hope he'll talk and come back to our bed soon.