21 weeks pregnant and my girlfriend is very depressed
Hello everyone would just like some advice or some others in similar situation to see what they have done. My girlfriend and I are 21 weeks pregnant (whooo half way there!!) and we have a talk last night, was an argument to her sharing her feelings and why she was upset with me. She had dinner going in the crock pot most of the day and worked really hard on dinner. She has this thing where she makes sure I get mine before hers (just how she is). So I started eating it, and it was very good, excellent. I waited for her to sit down with me to tell her but she got upset I didn’t say it sooner. I told her I was waiting for her to sit down to tell her it was very very good but she says that’s an excuse. So that started a whole snowball of things.
After she showered, I apologized and told her I should have said something sooner. She tells me I don’t make her feel appreciated and that she’s doing everything from cooking and cleaning. She has told me I am not allowed to do the laundry or mop bc she doesn’t it a certain way. Now I have cooked for her but it was her watching me and telling me how I was doing certain stuff wrong in the cooking process. I’m usually cleaning up after dinner, from wiping down the counter to doing the dishes. I take the dog out when he needs to every time so she isn’t on her feet as much except the morning bc she gets upset before me for work. I take the trash out to the dumpster. I sweep every now and then. And the one time I vacuumed the couch she got a little upset bc I didn’t ask and it threw off her cleaning schedule.
After talking some more I come to find out she feels like she’s in a box with her self and no way to escape. She’s hated this pregnancy and doesn’t not see anything good by it. She says I’m getting fat, I’m depressed, I’m not pretty, and I definitely not wanting to be naked in front of me. When we hang out with her long time best friend she told me she even feels like she’s in a box and she thought her best friend would have been there for her a lot more than what she is, more supportive. After hearing that I feel she’s struggling with herself, battling in her head, and depressed more than I thought. Even tho she Shay’s I don’t make her feel appreciated, it sounds like she’s not appreciating herself. Like that saying goes “need to love (appreciate) yourself to feel love (appreciation) from others.
@JoeNelson12
Firstly congratulations to you both, exciting times ahead! And a whole mind field of scary 😊
It's understandable that your girlfriend's emotions and insecurities are all over the place and she is feeling overwhelmed, her body is sore, changing and she is feeling insecure, unattractive and uncertain of herself.
She probably thinks you will be put off by her new shape, when in reality she is probably the most beautiful she has ever been, about to become a mother.
Sometimes we need to vent but do t need solutions, just ranting, because it doesn't even make sense to us.
I admire you for not saying anything when she snapped at you for not eating the dinner or commenting quick enough.
She is just exhausted.
When I clean I give out that I have no help and when someone does it, I give out because it's not my standard of clean 🤣
I know, irrational but how I release!
Just let her know, that you love her, you have her back, she is beautiful and that she is going to be the best mother ever.
I'm sorry her friend isn't stepping up but once she has you, she'll be good!
And I hope you know, you'll be a great father too, because you cared enough to come here and ask for help, putting her needs first and your child!
Genuinely wishing you both and your wee baby the best 💜💕
