Advice Please

Looking for advice please I am (17 FM) I am going through problems with my ex. A few month ago she made me block my two bestfriend s.

I know it’s my fault for doing it but I felt like I had to especially since I’ve known this girl since middle school (5 years) and I love her so much. I wish it wasn’t so toxic, she misunderstood a lot and basically didn’t like them and had me block them. I know it wasn’t right and it wasn’t healthy it was so toxic for me to block them and I regret it and miss them so much. I argued with her today and she mentioned that if I try to fix it with them because I told her that I felt so bad for doing that to them she said that it would be messed up between us for good.I feel like she’s doing it on purpose..

I unblocked my ex bsf today and she immediately texted me which I didn’t respond. She misses me and even tho i blocked her she needs her bestfriend. I miss them both so much and wanna reach out and fix it but i’m torn between my relationship.

If anyone could help me please I could use it so so much I need advice, I have no one to talk to. I feel like we are so toxic and unhealthy we don’t even have friends we only have eachother so I have nobody to talk to.

We are basically taking a break and we aren’t worrying about eachother now, and we are focusing on ourselves, but I know we won’t get to try again if I make the decision to go back to my friends because she says they are apart of the past.

I want her as my girlfriend because I love her but i also want my bestfriends back and I can only have one.. what should i do? I feel better now that we are having space I feel free and okay and not trapped but i love her and don’t wanna mess it up or hurt her feeling it would hurt bad to see her move on.