Advice long realtionship :(
Need advice 😢 18+ please read it all.
Me and partner have been together for 9y last year we broke up for a while but worked things out it was hard with our child stuck in the middle. Anyway last night we went out just me and him and had such a lovely time it ment so much. Me him and a friend went back for some drinks and we all was very very drunk. I went to sleep on the sofa and left them partying. Anyway I woke up and he was trying to get his D into me and was on his phone watching porn. I kicked of and are friend came in and didn't have a clue. After arguing I left and went to my mums. I had to come home today. My partner says he has woken me up plenty of times by having sex and I have to admit sometimes I like it. But to me this is diffrent. It wasn't about me or US it was just about him. I was so drunk and he didn't want me to wake up. Also he was watching porn and we both agreed not to watch porn (btw not my choice ..)
I just don't know what to do. I have said we're no longer together and he isn't sleeping in the bed. He doesn't see at all where I am coming from because in the past its been oky....
you have every right to feel invaded and betrayed. It is HIS problem if he is horny and you are sleeping/incoherent, therefore he should have taken care of it himself by having self control, or jerking it, or literally just waking you up at the least. Theres literally no excuse for why he had the right to your body when you werent even asked and couldn't voice your opinion—he just did it because he wanted to and assumed* you would be ok with it. thats absolutely not how sex works. (not unless both of you clearly say "ya u can fuck me while im incoherently sleeping") also the fact that he watched porn while trying to fuck you in your sleep, not to mention you made an agreement not to watch, really shows some serious control issues with him. He watched porn while non-consensually being inside of you, just so he could get his hard on bc he was doing something really gross and wrong to his gf? idk i just dont see how he could be "right" in this situation what-so-ever.
He is literally gross and you don't deserve that. The watching porn to do that to you is insulting. He as an adult should know that when you both aren't dating anymore, there are new boundaries and you deserve to have your boundaries respected. What was okay during the relationship isn't okay anymore. I'd say get a lock on your door if he continues to refuse to stop acting like a predator until you can move out. Your a human being and you don't deserve to be used when someone else chooses. That's rape in that case.