A lost connection

this is for me, no comments please!

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I’m still really mad about what happened. I didn’t realize how mad I could get about something like this. Some stupid man. I’m way out of his league, he’s older, and I’m a catch. It’s not like he’s a bad guy, I just am more of a catch. I got to know him and we have been talking for months now. I was honest about everything. And even though he has casual relationships sometimes, he all of a sudden doesn’t want that with me. Normally I’d be like I respect that, but not after we planned, I got back on birth control, and it’s for a strange reason. This was supposed to be a casual relationship and he has a problem with me not wanting kids. Which by the way I mentioned 2 months ago. And now that we are less than a week away from our date, the day after my birthday, he’s like no thanks. I’m like I’ve been preparing myself for a long time now. And he’s older! Like how do you want kids later in life and yet you’re almost 40?! Must be nice to be a man, that’s all I can say. It pisses me off. He’s like I don’t want to hurt you I refuse to hurt you I’m protecting you from myself. And I’m over here like uhm hello? I don’t need anyone to protect me because that just makes me get hurt in the end. Low self esteem. Apparently he thinks I’m too special for casual and yet he can’t be with me cuz I don’t want to birth a child. Wtf. So stupid. I’m so tired of men and their low self esteem. Men and their wanting to protect me. Excuse me for being honest about my body and knowing what I can’t handle emotionally and physically. Open to adoption? No. Apparently it’s not enough. Why??? Why is it me?? Why do I have to be so special? All I want are normal experiences and I’m tired of my choices being taken away by men who have all these effing options. Lord. Let’s be friends??? Ugh I’m disgusted

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this is for me. No comments please!