Attachment disorder
Anyone here who suffers from depression together with an attachment disorder (anxious )?
I'd like to discuss the aspect of whether stable relationships are even possible with these disorders as i have always felt i have been single long term because of my darkness. But i keep reading of many who suffer from depression but still have relationships.
So far at various points during therapy with different professionals the recurrent theme seems to come up that I will be unable to enter into a relationship unless I can resolve some things and especially learn to love myself. I'm not sure this will happen in this lifetime as i've been trying for long now!
It feels quite harsh as having lived with major depressive disorder for over 20years the main work it has done is to increase self loathing and to lower self esteem and I always blamed it for having close to zero relationships since i was diagnosed
For some reason I still somehow kept trying but I'm always rejected / seen as a friend.
Yet the longing for human touch was the last thing I had before this episode stole all feelings and turned it into nothingness.
Has anyone found ways to connect meaningfully with a partner despite the anxious attachment and depression ?
@anonyLemon4233
Hi Lemon! I hope you are well!
I wanted to reach out and hopefully help a little bit :) I am someone who struggles with anxiety and a little bit of depression, but I understand how you are feeling! I know it must be really hard to maintain relationships when you feel this way. I think something that's really important is to maintain communication in your relationships. Don't hesitate to lean on others and tell them how you feel. That's what friends are for and you shouldn't have to struggle alone! I'm sure some days are easier than others, but you will get through this! Sometimes, you just have to take it a day at a time! Make sure you smile often and laugh a little everyday! You will be okay! Thinking of you! 💙
Thank you @fruityPond7887. Was referring to finding a partner not friends. I have no difficulty opening up to friends. But have been single for endless years and was wondering if anyone here had experience with living with an anxious attachment style
@anonyLemon4233
Ah okay I see! My apologies! Are you looking for tips on how someone can be in a relationship while struggling with an anxious attachment style?
No worries :)
Yes. Or simply to hear from anyone who managed to establish a long term stable relationship
@anonyLemon4233 Luckily, I have experienced both!! As someone who struggles with being anxious but has established a long term relationship, I really do think communication is key! You have to explain to your partner how you're feeling a lot and help them to understand how they can best help you. You don't want them to have to guess because then you'll both become frustrated. Being patient is important too!!
@fruityPond7887 thank you for sharing. Appreciate it.
Over the years I just cannot seem to find anyone who reciprocates so I'm wondering if it's more than the attachment style that is the issue.
@anonyLemon4233 Having an anxious attachment style can be really difficult, so I understand how you are feeling. I want you to know that you don't have to change for anyone and the right person will come along and love you for who you are!!
@fruityPond7887 that's very sweet of you. Thank you for the thought 🤞
@anonyLemon4233 Of course!! <3 <3
