Communication, Overthinking/worrying in LDR
Hi everyone. So I’m in a long distance relationship for four years now. I must say it has its ups and downs. I’ve always had a problem with being too clingy, overthinking and worrying about things my partner might think is not important. Sometimes i think I’m the problem and I want to stop but don’t know how to. I want to give him his space, but i miss him so much I’d do anything to speak to him. He doesn’t call nor make an effort to visit and whenever i bring it up and my feelings towards it, we always argue. Recently I’ve been keeping quiet and trying to be happy when we text. What can I do? To stop the arguing and how can I be happy going forward?
Your feelings matter. Your thoughts matter. You matter. And you shouldn’t ever be silenced. You deserve someone who will call you and who will visit you and who will appreciate you and love you for who you are. I promise you, you are not the problem. A relationship is two people, you’ve pulled your weight and tried your best to make the relationship work he should be doing that as well. Tell him exactly how you feel, don’t be afraid. And if he doesn’t do something about it to save your relationship? I promise you that you’ll meet someone who will do everything and more to make you feel loved and make you feel happy and safe. Write down all your feelings and thoughts and press send, don’t ever be silenced sweetie. You deserve a greater love. And a greater love is out there waiting for you.
I can relate to your comments. I am also a worrier and overthinker. It does help to talk about it, but that's not always easy. You can't keep quiet all the time. Expressing your thoughts and getting feedback here is good, but your SO needs to know the kind of person you are and your expectations for your relationship or you aren't being truthful to yourself either. He will either help to calm and reassure your thoughts or he may not like hearing it and that will drive a further wedge but either way, you deserve to express who you are and your feelings are justified as a person in a partnership. Regardless of the outcome, I think you need to voice your feelings.